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Sunday, April 29, 2012

Life Goes On

     It is weird how life just seems to keep going, but things are a little different. I am now aware of the important things in life. I had the absolute privilege to attend the First Annual Walk for Donor Awareness at Deer Park High School North Campus.  A long-time friend Mel Black posted about it on her face book page. This subject is also very near and dear to her heart as her precious nephew was who was being honored at this event. Mason Black was both an organ recipient and donor at his way too early departure from this earth. I was so impressed by the three young high school students that put this whole event together. I wish the new media would cover stories like this because our world is still full of great kids. I found out that one of the girls was a daughter of a beautiful girl I went to high school with. She must be such a proud mother, and I know she is the one that taught her to have a compassionate heart. The money raised is being donated to Nora's House, which will be a house for transplant patients in the medical center, very similar to how the Ronald McDonald house works for pediatric patients. I ran into a ton of friends and made some great contacts with Donate Life. I really have a desire to get involved in these type of events and to help spread awareness. I want people to see me and know that organ transplantation is amazing, life-changing, and the best gift you could give someone.
    The night was quite emotional for me as I left in tears just looking at my son and I hope he grows up to have a heart like the students I met. I hope he is full of passion to help others and to support such noble causes. I hope I don't raise him to be too busy to get involved in things like this. I love him so much and I know what a huge responsibility I have as his mother.
    I have been seeing God answer prayers left and right lately. I want to scream from mountaintops about one in particular, but I can't say anything yet, so y'all will have to wait a little longer. But, it is a great feeling to look around at my friends and family and realize that God is at work all around me.One big blessing to me was my friend Priscilla's visit. She brought a few things to my attention and she stated that I have changed, and I guess I have. It is one of those instance's where all that I have been through in my life has left its mark. I am very cautious about what I say now and I have to think about every little detail of stuff before I do it. I think about where an event is (outside is best), what are they serving (can I eat it), will people be smoking (I cannot be around smoke at all), and how long will I be there because I need my meds, glucometer, blood pressure reader, thermometer, and all kinds of emergency numbers if necessary. It is hard for me to be spontaneous anymore, and I used to love being spontaneous (Thomas limits my ability to be spontaneous too). Anyways, all of this made me get to thinking about the person I am. She also thinks I honk too much when driving and I was trying to justify it by the recent wrecks I have had because now I am scared of people turning and hitting me all the time, so I might honk too frequently, but today (Pree you will be proud) I held off on honking. Pree is afraid I will get shot at for honking, she is from Los Angeles, enough said, but I don't want to ruin any one's day by honking at them. Sorry if I have honked at any of you recently.  On a profound note, I never thought this would be my "story." I do remember saying in college at a church event about what we thought our future had in store for us and I boldly said,"I think God has great plans for my life and I hope He uses me to my fullest potential." Crazy words because I never thought this was my path. I never thought I would bury babies, I never thought I would be pregnant with twins, I never thought I would get pregnant a second time, I never thought I would have a chronic illness, I NEVER thought I would have cancer, and I for sure never thought I would receive a life-saving organ transplant. I never imagined God's plan for me and I hope I don't limit Him know, I hope to hear His voice clearly, and I mostly hope I follow His will and not my own for my life. Sometimes, as I was talking to my wonderful friend Becca Smith about, it is really hard to know which door God has opened, or what is His plan not only for me, but for my family. It is times like this that I want to tell teenagers, "Don't rush to grow-up, responsibility is not all that great some times." Why do we rush to grow-up? If I could, I would go back an enjoy every second of every family vacation, family camping trip, every holiday get-together, and every special moment I had with my Grandma Emerick. Oh, I miss her so much. I often go out to her graveside when I go and visit the boys. It brings me a little comfort knowing that she is buried close to them. Speaking of graves, I think Karen might think I am a little weird because I was telling her how I want the twins to be moved to be with me or right next to me when I pass on and I am buried. She advised that I should just leave them and let them rest in peace, but I envision us all buried together as a family someday. I know that it is just their bodies, not their souls in the grave. It just makes me smile when I think how all of us could be together at the cemetery when we weren't able to all be together here on earth.
     Okay, so my labs have been a little bad here lately, my bilirubin has been elevated, so I have been doing labs more often and they change my medication doses every time I do labs. Tomorrow I go to an Endocrinologist to help me taper down off of my NPH insulin. While I am on the topic of blood sugars and diabetes, please listen-up parents of diabetic children. I, even as a nurse, never knew how TERRIBLE a person feels when their blood sugar is either too high or too low. I know of a couple of mothers who do a great job with their kids that are diabetics, but I have also run across families that must not know how serious diabetes is. It leads to kidney failure, slow-healing, loss of toes (sometimes legs), and all kinds of other problems. I can tell exactly what my blood sugar is by how I feel. So, I just want to encourage parents out there to please do your best to help your kids with this issue, they are too young to articulate how it makes them feel and they are not the ones preparing meals at home. Please ask their endocrinologist how many grams of carbs they are supposed to eat with each meal and stick with it, please always pair carbs with a protein, and please please teach them how to get help or what to do when they start feeling like their sugar is too low. I hope and pray that I will be able to call myself a non diabetic soon, but so much of that depends on my exercise routine because exercise works like insulin. While my labs or sugars might be out of whack sometimes, I feel fabulous most of the time. If I start to get down or feel sorry for myself, I just think of all the wonderful blessings, people, family, etc in my life and I feel better instantly. I hope to live a life that makes people want to become organ donors!  I have a lot more to say, but finding the time to sit down and blog has been hard lately because if Thomas wants my attention, I stop what I am doing and give it to him, but right now he is snoozing away during his nap and I am taking full advantage.
    I just have to do one more load of laundry and vacuum before Paul's family comes over for his 32nd Birthday Celebration. I am excited because I love Birthdays.  Thanks for reading and let me know if there is ever anything you wonder about, I promise I am not shy!

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