Something Old

So, I know it has been too long, sorry for the hiatus. I need to finish telling you about the car situation. The weekend we were going camping (Memorial Weekend), after I had loaded the back of the van perfectly, we left bright and early Saturday morning and wouldn't you know it, just a few blocks after filling the van up with gas, all four brake light warning indicators thingies on the dashboard light up. After my last experience with the brakes going out in the FJ, I was not taking any chances. We turned around, threw everything in the back of the truck hastily, and then filled the truck up with gas and finally headed out. On Tuesday morning after Memorial Day, we took the van to a Chrysler dealership to get serviced because after all, I had bought a WARRANTY! So, they fix several problems on the van because each time we take it in, the deductible is the same no matter how many things they fix according to my WARRANTY PAPERWORK I had from my signing day at the dealership. So, they call on Friday that everything is fixed and it is going to be $800 ish because we don't have a warranty. I bring my paperwork and show them, so more investigation is needed. We call the dealership and leave messages, talk to the wrong people, and wait. We wait, wait, wait for a week and a half. I felt like they were holding my van hostage. The dealership "forgot" to file the proper paperwork for my warranty, so indeed I did not have one, even though I really did pay for one. Okay, so now they were going to file the papers and we would have the warranty and then we could finally go pick up the van. I WISH! The warranty place confirmed that the dealership did file the paperwork, but had not sent the money and it usually takes 60-90 days for the dealership to send in the $$$ because they send in a bunch of them at once, so we would have to wait that long for them to pay. And, this warranty was different, so we would always have to pay up front and be reimbursed (only $200 out of the $800 was going to be reimbursed). ENOUGH ALREADY, we cancelled the warranty, the dealership came down $100 on our repairs and we finally rescued the van after a few weeks!

But, in all the this, the nicest thing happened to us. A wonderful lady and friend I work with loaned us her extra car. Let me tell you how sweet she and her husband are. I was at work with her and her husband drove the car to our job. They live in Brookshire, which is about an hour away. I had never even met this wonderful man and it touched my heart that someone would go that far out of the way for me. It was such a blessing to be able to continue my normal routine with Thomas and work. Thank you so much Cindy!

Now, on to the old thing I found. I found my BUCKET LIST from before I was even married. I wish I had dated it, but I know it was before I married Paul. Here is the list:

1. Kiss my love on top of the Empire State Building
2. Do travel nursing for one year.
3. Go back to Africa for medical missions
4. Go to Hawaii.
5. Swim with the sharks
6. Sky Dive
7. Learn to ski
8. Adopt a family of orphans
9. Provide Christmas for a needy family
10. Stop caring what other people think especially strangers
11. Pay for Karina's college
12. Pay for Timmy's college
13. Complete a triathlon post transplant
14. Ride a horse bareback
15. Go to Australia
16.  Keep in touch with old friends (Thank you Facebook)
17.  Save someone's life
18. Lasik eye surgery
19.  Get a tattoo
20.  Start a research organization for Autoimmune Hepatitis
21.  Thank Jesus daily for giving me another day
22.  Go to Paris
23.  Go back to Honduras
24.  Catch a shark deep sea fishing
25.  Go to a World Series Game.

Those were the things I wanted to do, only a few have changed. I can no longer get a tattoo, it is part of my post-transplant rules, they also strongly discourage out of country traveling, but for the most part, I would still love to do these things.  I would add to the list:  Meet my donor's family, be a Christ-like role model to my children, and to be a blessing to all the people I meet. Life is good, no, life is great! I hope to be back soon blogging more often!

I go weekly or sometimes every two weeks for labs. Everything is looking great so far and I feel fabulous.

Let's Play Catch-Up

I can't believe I didn't blog at all in the month of May. So much has happened. The last time I blogged was on Paul's Birthday, which ended up being a lot of fun.  We had homemade chilli for dinner and a big cookie cake for the birthday festivities. Thomas loves the Birthday song and he had fun hanging out with his cousins Hannah and Mason. The next morning I went to the Endocrinologist and guess what???? No more insulin for this chica! I switched to Metformin only the following Wednesday, praise the Lord!

     So, the next big thing that happened was my cousin Karen had a birthday celebration. Her actual bday is May 9th, but we had a party on May 6th at her sister Deborah's house. I made Karen a "recreation" of a cake I had made for her when we were in elementary school when she had the chicken pox. I decorated it with Red Hots, just like the good ole days. I can remember being so excited to give her this cake when we were little, I love that we grew-up across the street from one another, that is just so cool. Anyways, her mom made the real cake which is a made-from-scratch chocolate sheet cake. I am serious when people come to birthday parties in our family based on the fact that Kay will be making this delicious dessert. I still get a little emotional when I look at Karen, I just think she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, especially since I know her inside out. She has lived her entire life helping others and she is leaving such a legacy. On Wednesday, we celebrated her real birthday at our special place, Jimmy Changas. We had a blast and this time I brought an ice cream cake that we shared with the wait staff.

This shot was taken at Karen's First Bday Celebration. I Love this kid more than I knew was possible.

Doesn't she look beautiful and happy! I love her!

Thomas loves the green sauce! Not a fun diaper later that night!

So, the next day was my appt with my cardiologist. After a few tests, I found out that my heart is HALF the size it was before transplant. I didn't even know it was so enlarged. And, all my lung pressures were back to normal, so it was a happy appt and I left with a sense of thankfulness! I left there and went to a new Bible Study I was attending with women of all different ages at my church. It was such a great time and I made new friends and spent time with old friends. We laughed a lot about growing-up, marriage, kids, funny church moments, and we really bonded. I love my church so much.

On May 12, Thomas and I went to Noah and Charlee's bday celebration. We only stayed a few minutes because I suddenly noticed a rash all on Thomas' feet, hands and mouth. You guessed it, he had hand, foot, mouth virus. So, no church for me on Mother's Day, but really, on Mother's Day I loved being his momma and taking care of him when he was sick. Mother's Day at church is still hard for me, I am always afraid they will ask mom's to keep standing if they have 1 child, 2 children, 3 children, and so on because I have seen this before. What would I do? I can't help but think about my precious boys in heaven on Mother's Day. I wonder how big they would be and what their little personalities would be like. I look forward to our reunion some day. I am so glad I know where I will spend my eternity.

For two hours on Mother's Day, Paul and my dad watched Thomas while Karen, Deborah, and I hosted our first annual Mother's Day Tea at my house. We had a blast. I stole the idea from my friend Becca, who threw the coolest tea party themed birthday for her daughter. We didn't allow any of our mothers to make or bring anything. We enjoyed great snacks, tea, and good times sharing about all of our childhoods and spending time thanking our moms and aunts for making us the women we are today. We made two crafts and a fan. We plan on doing this more often because girl time is a lot of fun.

This is one of the crazy shots from our tea, we had a really special time together! I love all these women!

     So, the next big thing was my doctor's appt on May 17th, I did my usual labs, saw my Dr. O'Mahony, cried to her tears of utter thankfulness. I thanked her for making such a sacrifice for me, she gives up so much to do her job. I thanked her for all the wonderful staff and the excellent care I have received through this whole journey, I thanked her for always asking about Thomas, she remembers I am a mom and she explained to me why I am still on high doses of immunosuppressants. She said I was YOUNG and HEALTHY, so my immune system tries harder to reject my liver than an older person, so they would have to wing me down slowly. I have not been described as healthy in so long, it felt good to hear.  That afternoon, I had a CT scan and two MRIs. I haven't heard anything about those, so no news is good news these days. At this appt, I received my BACK TO WORK papers and I went to turn those in and check all my passwords at work to make sure I hadn't been kicked out of the system. I had lunch with my good friend Kelly Brautigam in between all of this craziness and she made me laugh so much. That evening, I rushed to my women's Bible Study for our final night together (it was only four weeks). After the Bible Study, I rushed home to my baby and just held him and praised God for all the good things happening.

     After being so happy, a little tinge of sadness started setting-in. I truly love my job, but I love taking care of Thomas full-time even more. I realized that May 23 was going to be bitter sweet. I love my job and the people I work with, but three solid months of Thomas Time was amazing. He has started peeing in the potty and we have a rhythm that I loved. I love snuggling with my baby right after he wakes up, it is the best feeling ever. 

The next day was my last MOPS meeting, so sad, but excited about next year's theme PLUNGE. I love hanging out with these girls. This was also Thomas' last day of Mother's Day Out for the year :(  He loves his "school" so much, but we are looking forward to next year. That evening, Paul's parents came into town and we celebrated their anniversary, Mother's Day, and Jerry's Birthday. We went to dinner at Cheddar's and then everyone came over for cake and we played RACKO. It was a fun time with all of Paul's family.

As you can see, we had three cakes to celebrate all the different events.

May 19th was a super busy day. Karina turned 17, where has all the time gone? Thomas and I went to her house for breakfast and gave her gift to her. Then, we went to Jackson's Pirate Bday party, then we sprinted to Karina's lunch bday celebration. We had to have a lunch celebration because Karina was going to PROM the evening of her birthday. I can't believe how grown-up she is and how beautiful she is. Below is a pic of her and Daniel (he is her boyfriend and I really really like him).

Later on in the evening, Paul and I went to see The Avengers, while Thomas got a little more spoiled by his Aunt Trishy and Mimi. The movie was really good and it was nice to spend a little alone time with my main man.

The next big thing that happened was MAY 23, I did it, I went back to work. It felt great to see everyone, catch up on all my emails, my computer work and nursing updates, and to be back in my element. Once I am at work, I love it, I believe nursing is one of the best professions in the world. I only had to work an 8 hour shift, so I was back home with my Tommy by 4:00 pm.  I also worked on Friday, a full 12 hour shift, and it seemed to fly by! All day, I count down the minutes until I get to see my Thomas. Friday night, I loaded the van with all our camping stuff because we were leaving in the morning to go camping for my Aunt Kay's 60th Birthday. Not just because she is my aunt, but she honestly doesn't look or act 60! Saturday morning, we were all ready by 0630 and we headed out, but there was one problem, all the brake warning lights came on in the van. After my last brake drama, I was taking no chances, so we went home and threw everything in the truck and started over. My docs said I couldn't sleep on the ground in a tent, so we camped all day, but slept in a hotel at night. It was a very relaxing, hot weekend. We had a lot of fun with Thomas and all his cousins, Austin, Jackson, Cash, Charlee, and Noah. Paul even commented how nice it was to go to a family event where there was no drama. I must admit, it was really nice. Paul also loved my cousin Mike's camper. He has been reading all about them here lately! The only other camping experience Paul and I had was during November one year and it was COLD, no bueno. I am waiting for Karen to send me the pics from camping, or I would post one now. We rushed home on Sunday night and headed to Blayke's 4th Bday party, where Thomas swam and went down the big slide into the pool with his daddy. We were all pretty tuckered out and we all crashed Sunday night. Memorial Day arrived and we went to Aunt Celinda and Uncle Rick's house to swim some more and eat hamburgers. Monday was another low-key, relaxing day. Paul was mowing lawns all day, but he met us at their house for lunch. My sister, Karina, and Daniel all came too. There is nothing better than jumping into a cold pool on a hot day. 

This is Thomas discovering what a "real" phone is at our hotel.

Jackson, Thomas, and Charlee eating a little jerky!

 Tuesday, after Memorial Day, we woke-up early and took my van to the Chrysler dealership and this is where my nogoodverybadluckwithcars started-up again. This deserves it's own post, so I will save it for later.

One final thing, look at my new plates baby......

Sorry, I couldn't figure out how to turn this pic, but you get the idea!! If you are interested in getting Donate Life plates, I encourage you to do it, only $30. Thanks for keeping up with me and please forgive me for taking so long to blog again.

Life Goes On

     It is weird how life just seems to keep going, but things are a little different. I am now aware of the important things in life. I had the absolute privilege to attend the First Annual Walk for Donor Awareness at Deer Park High School North Campus.  A long-time friend Mel Black posted about it on her face book page. This subject is also very near and dear to her heart as her precious nephew was who was being honored at this event. Mason Black was both an organ recipient and donor at his way too early departure from this earth. I was so impressed by the three young high school students that put this whole event together. I wish the new media would cover stories like this because our world is still full of great kids. I found out that one of the girls was a daughter of a beautiful girl I went to high school with. She must be such a proud mother, and I know she is the one that taught her to have a compassionate heart. The money raised is being donated to Nora's House, which will be a house for transplant patients in the medical center, very similar to how the Ronald McDonald house works for pediatric patients. I ran into a ton of friends and made some great contacts with Donate Life. I really have a desire to get involved in these type of events and to help spread awareness. I want people to see me and know that organ transplantation is amazing, life-changing, and the best gift you could give someone.
    The night was quite emotional for me as I left in tears just looking at my son and I hope he grows up to have a heart like the students I met. I hope he is full of passion to help others and to support such noble causes. I hope I don't raise him to be too busy to get involved in things like this. I love him so much and I know what a huge responsibility I have as his mother.
    I have been seeing God answer prayers left and right lately. I want to scream from mountaintops about one in particular, but I can't say anything yet, so y'all will have to wait a little longer. But, it is a great feeling to look around at my friends and family and realize that God is at work all around me.One big blessing to me was my friend Priscilla's visit. She brought a few things to my attention and she stated that I have changed, and I guess I have. It is one of those instance's where all that I have been through in my life has left its mark. I am very cautious about what I say now and I have to think about every little detail of stuff before I do it. I think about where an event is (outside is best), what are they serving (can I eat it), will people be smoking (I cannot be around smoke at all), and how long will I be there because I need my meds, glucometer, blood pressure reader, thermometer, and all kinds of emergency numbers if necessary. It is hard for me to be spontaneous anymore, and I used to love being spontaneous (Thomas limits my ability to be spontaneous too). Anyways, all of this made me get to thinking about the person I am. She also thinks I honk too much when driving and I was trying to justify it by the recent wrecks I have had because now I am scared of people turning and hitting me all the time, so I might honk too frequently, but today (Pree you will be proud) I held off on honking. Pree is afraid I will get shot at for honking, she is from Los Angeles, enough said, but I don't want to ruin any one's day by honking at them. Sorry if I have honked at any of you recently.  On a profound note, I never thought this would be my "story." I do remember saying in college at a church event about what we thought our future had in store for us and I boldly said,"I think God has great plans for my life and I hope He uses me to my fullest potential." Crazy words because I never thought this was my path. I never thought I would bury babies, I never thought I would be pregnant with twins, I never thought I would get pregnant a second time, I never thought I would have a chronic illness, I NEVER thought I would have cancer, and I for sure never thought I would receive a life-saving organ transplant. I never imagined God's plan for me and I hope I don't limit Him know, I hope to hear His voice clearly, and I mostly hope I follow His will and not my own for my life. Sometimes, as I was talking to my wonderful friend Becca Smith about, it is really hard to know which door God has opened, or what is His plan not only for me, but for my family. It is times like this that I want to tell teenagers, "Don't rush to grow-up, responsibility is not all that great some times." Why do we rush to grow-up? If I could, I would go back an enjoy every second of every family vacation, family camping trip, every holiday get-together, and every special moment I had with my Grandma Emerick. Oh, I miss her so much. I often go out to her graveside when I go and visit the boys. It brings me a little comfort knowing that she is buried close to them. Speaking of graves, I think Karen might think I am a little weird because I was telling her how I want the twins to be moved to be with me or right next to me when I pass on and I am buried. She advised that I should just leave them and let them rest in peace, but I envision us all buried together as a family someday. I know that it is just their bodies, not their souls in the grave. It just makes me smile when I think how all of us could be together at the cemetery when we weren't able to all be together here on earth.
     Okay, so my labs have been a little bad here lately, my bilirubin has been elevated, so I have been doing labs more often and they change my medication doses every time I do labs. Tomorrow I go to an Endocrinologist to help me taper down off of my NPH insulin. While I am on the topic of blood sugars and diabetes, please listen-up parents of diabetic children. I, even as a nurse, never knew how TERRIBLE a person feels when their blood sugar is either too high or too low. I know of a couple of mothers who do a great job with their kids that are diabetics, but I have also run across families that must not know how serious diabetes is. It leads to kidney failure, slow-healing, loss of toes (sometimes legs), and all kinds of other problems. I can tell exactly what my blood sugar is by how I feel. So, I just want to encourage parents out there to please do your best to help your kids with this issue, they are too young to articulate how it makes them feel and they are not the ones preparing meals at home. Please ask their endocrinologist how many grams of carbs they are supposed to eat with each meal and stick with it, please always pair carbs with a protein, and please please teach them how to get help or what to do when they start feeling like their sugar is too low. I hope and pray that I will be able to call myself a non diabetic soon, but so much of that depends on my exercise routine because exercise works like insulin. While my labs or sugars might be out of whack sometimes, I feel fabulous most of the time. If I start to get down or feel sorry for myself, I just think of all the wonderful blessings, people, family, etc in my life and I feel better instantly. I hope to live a life that makes people want to become organ donors!  I have a lot more to say, but finding the time to sit down and blog has been hard lately because if Thomas wants my attention, I stop what I am doing and give it to him, but right now he is snoozing away during his nap and I am taking full advantage.
    I just have to do one more load of laundry and vacuum before Paul's family comes over for his 32nd Birthday Celebration. I am excited because I love Birthdays.  Thanks for reading and let me know if there is ever anything you wonder about, I promise I am not shy!

Update

Well, I went to the doctor a week and a half ago and things are going great. My incision is finally healed and I no longer have to change dressings, we are going down on my steroid dose again, all my other medication doses stayed the same, and I can now jog. I went jogging the same day they told me I could, and I have to say that it hurt my abdomen. So, I have been easing into the process of increasing the intensity of my work-outs. I hate feeling like I could do more, but I want to be cautious with my body because the main complication of post-transplant surgery is developing a hernia. All the men in the waiting room talk about how much the hernia repair surgery hurts. I know this was a bunch of men and men tend to be way wimpier, but I really don't ever want another surgery if I can help it. The doctor said that my hair falling out is a side effect of the Prograf (my main immunosuppressant), there is a different one we could switch to, but the side effect of that drug and facial hair growth!!! As soon as she said that I pictured Paul and I sharing the mirror shaving together and I sain "no thanks!" So, I am just going to deal with it, in the big scheme of things, it is not that big of a deal. I go back to the doctor on April 26th and that is when we will re-evaluate me being able to travel more than a couple of hours away. I do labs once a week and this week I will go on Wednesday.
   Thomas has a big appointment this week too. His left leg is bowing, so naturally, he has an appointment at Shriners to check out his leg. He is in the 93% for his height, so I think he will grow out of it, but we will see. I love Dr.Scott and I trust her opinion, she is not only a wonderful doctor, but a stellar person. She can remember everything about her patients, she cares about them, and she is probably the fairest person I know.
    I have been a bit emotional lately, I can hardly talk about my cousin Karen without tearing-up, and I feel so blessed. My Aunt Kim had a garage sale at her house this past weekend to help us out and she simply amazes me. She helps so many people every day of her life. My mom, sister, husband, aunt Kay,and cousins came out to help too. I had forgotten how much work a garage sale is, but we had a great turn-out.
    I have been keeping busy with my work-outs, cleaning, deweeding, and I started the task of thank-you cards. I have so many people to thank that it is almost an overwhelming task, but I am steadily working on them everyday. Thomas loves to try and "help" me with the cards, but that does not always work out for momma! I am going to the eye doctor this week because I feel like my vision has changed and I am out of contacts. I am trying to squeeze in all the appts I can before I go back to work in May. I have also started sewing a little bit, which I really enjoy, but I am not too great at it yet!!!
    Easter weekend was wonderful, if you live around here, you know that the weather was PERFECT!  Thomas went to several egg hunts, he is so fun this year because he knows what to do. We went to an egg hunt at his Mother's Day Out program on Wednesday, one at our bank on Friday, and then the big one at our church on Saturday. He of course hunted eggs Sunday morning at our house and then again at my cousin's house Sunday afternoon. On Saturday, Paul's parents came to the egg hunt at church, as well as my mom, my sister, my cousin Lisa, and her daughter Charlee. It was a lot of fun. After that, we had a picnic at the park with Paul's parents and Thomas fed the ducks. He loves animals, which I know comes from me. I am sad that I can't be around animals or have close contact with them right now, but hopefully in the near future, I will be able to handle animals again. Saturday before Easter, we went to dinner with Paul's family and then we headed over to his Aunt Celinda's house to visit with Nana and Papa! They came in town from Alto, Tx. I love Nana, she is one of the most godly, loving, and wisest people I have ever met and I soak-up every minute I am blessed to spend around her. It has been hard not being able to travel up there to see her. We visited for a while and then we had to leave because I still needed to go to the grocery store for Easter supplies, color eggs, and clean-up. Saturday was super busy, but tons of fun.
     Easter Sunday was beautiful! It is so fun to dress-up Thomas. We all wore navy blue and white for Easter and my cousin Lisa, her children Charlee and Noah, her mother Jeri and Jeri's friend Charlie all came to church with us, which was super nice because it was Paul's week to work in the nursery during the service. After Sunday School, I went home and made deviled eggs for the first time in my life, they turned out okay, but I will improve this skill soon. I gathered all my stuff for Easter lunch and we headed over to my cousin Deborah's house. The kids played in the sprinkler, on the trampoline, and with the slide and toys all in the backyard. We hid a buch of eggs, some with $$$ inside, and the kids had a blast trying to find the GOLDEN EGGS. Lunch was great, but the company was even better. My cousin Karen took some great pictures of everyone, so I will try to put one on here if I can.

     Yesterday, Paul, Thomas, and I went to the Bluebonnet Festival and had a blast. I love seeing all the home-made stuff, people are so creative. After the festival, Thomas and I went up to our church for the youth choir auction dinner. It was a ton of fun and Thomas even won a water gun in the raffle. I was so impressed with the decorations, the talented entertainment, and with all the stuff up for auction. I love our church so much. We are having a Women's Night of Worship this Thursday at 7:00 pm if any of you ladies are interested. I am so pumped about this special night of praise.

     I am so excited about this coming up weekend because my soulmate friend Pree is coming in town from Los Angeles. I cannot wait to hug her neck! She is coming in for my Birthday weekend and we are going to the Astros game on my big day, and guess who they are playing, The Dodgers!!! Anyways, I hope to do a bunch of fun stuff with her while she is here. I miss her like crazy and it has been since my brother's wedding this past summer since I have seen her.

     I was extra blessed this past couple of weeks by a wonderful group of fifth graders from Fairmont Elementary School. They raised over $300 to help pay my medical bills by selling candy. They also sent me the sweetest cards. My heart was so touched by this wonderful kids and a reminder that you are never to young to make a difference in the lives of other people. My good friend Beth Williams is their teacher and organized it all, so a big thank you goes out to her!!

    

The picture above is from the Bluebonnet festival, my little cowboy is growing-up! I hope this blog cheers you up and I hope I bump into you soon.

Five Blissful Weeks

    Can you believe it has been 5 weeks since I received my liver? I can honestly say that I am full of energy, I never realized how tired I felt all the time before my transplant. I used to fall asleep all the time watching television with a load of laundry running, dishes that needed to be washed, and lunches that needed to be made. I am now staying up late just because I CAN! I still love to wake-up early because it is so great to have another day to enjoy this wonderful life. I love every minute of my days with Thomas. I love getting him dressed, cooking for him, shopping with him, HOLDING him, and loving all over him. I am having to wear gloves around him for eight weeks and a mask for two weeks anytime my face is close to his face because he got his 18 month shots this past Friday. Anytime he gets live vaccines, I have to do this. While I love touching him skin to skin, this is a small sacrifice, nothing in comparison to the sacrifice made for me.
     On this topic of my donor, I hope and pray that his family wants to meet me If they don't, then they at least have to write me back. I want to know my donor's name. I want to be able to say it, to honor his name, to keep his name on the lips of others, I want his name to be known to tons of people. I would love to set-up a scholarship or something like that in his name. Please pray that his family wants to meet me. It is very important to me. I have started the letter to his family a few times, but I get all choked-up every time. When I exercise, I have the best thoughts for my letter, so I decided that tomorrow while I walk, I will record my thoughts out loud and then maybe that will help me write the letter. I think my problem is that no words seem to express just how grateful I truly am.
     I have lost a total of 27 pounds since the DOT (Date of Transplant), this is the new lingo they use at my doctor's appt, instead of DOB, we use this new date! I graduated from my weekly dr appts to every two weeks now. I only had to do labs once in between my appts. I go back to the doctor this Thursday, April 5th, and hopefully he will release me to exercise a little harder, travel a little farther, and hopefully, we will continue to go down on my doses of medication. The lower the dose, the less immunocompromised I am. I will forever be immuno-compromised as long as I have this new liver. A few things I can't do anymore is: eat at buffets, eat at potlucks, be in really crowded areas, work in the church nursery, work in the yard (darn), and a few other activities! I am trying not to be a psycho germaphobe, but I want to take the best care of this liver that I possibly can. My life expectancy is now normal, meaning that I am expected to live as long as anyone else my age, gender, etc..  That fills my heart with joy!
     I made a video with my aunts updating how I look and some info that everyone probably wants to hear including pictures of my incision! We will be uploading it to YouTube soon and I will post the link for all of you to enjoy!
     I have been able to share my testimony with several different people at restaurants, shopping, church, or just out and about. I can't seem to hide my enthusiasm and excitement here lately. I get overwhelmed sometimes with joy. I used to pray without always expecting results, sometimes I think we all do that, we pray and forget to ever look for an answer. Well, remember me the next time you need an example of an answered prayer. God is still in the business of performing miracles and answering prayers! I can't say thanks enough for all of the prayers sent up for me. My favorite place to be lately is church or worshiping. I catch myself raising my hands up as I exercise at the track listening to my praise music and I often start singing out loud. I have stopped caring so much about what others think of me, I have one person that I want to please and honor and that is Jesus Christ! 
     I love to check the mail lately because I usually get a sweet card in the mail and it makes my heart smile. I have been surprised by how many people have gone out of their way to be kind to me and my family. I feel like this whole thing has actually been a blessing to me. I have found out who truly loves and cares for me, I have found out who my true friends are, I have realized what is important in life, and I learned how to prioritize things much easier. I am just so happy to be here, I mean, heaven sounds great and all, but looking at Thomas feels pretty close to heaven! I was thinking about how becoming a parent really makes you stop and think about spiritual things. I often think of Mary and how she had to nurse Jesus, teach him to walk, talk, become independent, let him grow-up, and most of all how she had to watch her son die on the cross. I just don't know how she did it. God knew she was strong enough for all of this. I wish the Bible had more details sometimes about the little things, but I guess it would be way too long. I look at Thomas and think about the miracle he is and how God made him so perfect. Love has taken on a whole new meaning to me when I think in terms of Thomas. He is the person I would do absolutely anything for!
     I am currently looking for recipes that taste good and are low-salt, and good for a diabetic (low carb and must have protein). I know, with that description, good-tasting doesn't seem to come to mind, but I need some new ideas! If you have any, please send them my way.
    I am getting so excited for Easter Sunday! I am so glad that Jesus died for me and rose again! I made Thomas some shirts for his Easter Egg Hunt at our church and for his school party. I am still very new to this whole sewing thing, but each time, I get a little better. I know I need to do a better job of blogging, but to be honest, I have been super busy living life to the fullest. Let me know if you have any questions, I am not shy, so just ask.

I Can Only Imagine

     So, I mentioned earlier about the song "I Can Only Imagine," by MERCY ME, and that I heard it on the way home from the hospital. This song is special to me in way more ways than one. The first time I heard this song, I was in college at ULM, it was the summer and my family (Mom, Dad, and brother John) came to pick me up from school and we headed to Eureka Springs in Arkansas for vacation and to see the Passion Play. In the car on the way, my little brother introduced me to this song, I instantly loved it. We listened to it several times while driving through amazing scenery. People always joke about Arkansas, but it really is a beautiful state. I enjoyed watching and listening to my little brother sing this song as loud as he could and with his eyes closed. My entire family was singing, we were worshiping together as a family to this touching song. I love the words to this song, I love imagining heaven. This song has brought me comfort so many times, but especially after my babies died. I thought of this song and how my babies were at the feet of Jesus, what were they doing, was Jesus holding them?
     I'm not done, because of this song, I started to love the band Mercy Me. I read all about them and realized that they were the "real deal." I worked at my church in Monroe, La and they came to perform a concert at our church. I can remember being so excited, I could barely contain myself. If you know me, I am not very big on celebrities, autographs, etc. I mean, actors and musicians are just people, I don't think we should worship them. But, Mercy Me was different, they had written a song that was literally changing lives all around me. I can remember singing this song at the top of my lungs in my friend's truck and feeling so connected to people spiritually. Anyways, my beautiful roommate Abby went to the concert and we had a blast, but the guitarist noticed her and he loved the way she worshipped, isn't that sweet? Next thing I know, Mercy Me is coming back to Monroe a few weeks later and Mike (the guitarist) had mentioned an interest in Abby to our college minister and you won't believe this...... Mercy Me ended up coming over to our house. I mean, they were at our house people. Abby and Mike had an instant connection based on Christ and today they are married and have three awesome kids. Abby had a son, adopted a girl from another country, and then they had another son. Abby was living the life we had talked about for her future. We had even painted our kitchen at our house with what we would look like someday and Abby had kids all around her of different races because she just has that kind of wonderful heart, full of love to give to children. Abby and Mike have been a constant support in my life. They helped sponsor me when I went to Africa on a mission trip, they sent me flowers when the twins died, they donated items to both the softball and volleyball tournaments, and I know they pray for me. They are an amazing family and I am so proud to call them my friends. It is nice to know that this band is full of Godly men. It makes the song even more special to me. The thing about this song is that it still evokes emotion out of me today, I never get sick of it.  I encourage you to check this band out and please listen to the song if you never have before, it is well worth your time.
     Hearing this song on the way home brought me to tears because I was so afraid for the past six and a half months that I was going to die that I had imagined what heaven would be like a million times. I knew all the questions I was going to ask God, like why can't we regenerate body parts like a lizard or starfish, I have a ton of questions about dinosaurs, and then a bunch of questions about my boys. I wondered if they have aged or if they are still babies, I wondered if they would know who I am, I wondered if I would hear Him say those words... I am proud of you my faithful servant. I always wondered if I would have regrets, I don't want to have a bunch of regrets, I want to live my life differently. I visualized hugging my grandmothers, meeting my mom's mother for the first time in heaven. I can't wait to hug their necks, and I want to meet all the disciples and talk to them, and I really want to talk to Mary. I want to hear what Jesus was like as a baby, did he throw tantrums?  I am still excited about meeting Jesus someday, but more excited about spending eternity with Him.

     I have a little update about my donor, it was in my coordinators words, " a very young male." That is it, that is all the details they gave me. My surgeon said that I basically received a brand new liver. My life expectancy is the same as if I have never had a health problem. Isn't that incredible? I am waiting until I am alone to write my letter to the donor family and I pray that they do want to meet me someday. I need to meet them, to thank them, to hug them, to know them, I want them to know I will honor the memory of this man all the days of my life. I was thinking about Thomas and how hard it would be to donate his organs if he died. When this guy's family said goodbye to him for the last time, his chest was still rising and falling because he was on a ventilator. I can't even imagine how hard that would be because it would feel like he was still alive. This is such a gift, a blessing, a miracle. I can't really wrap my head around the fact that a doctor removed my liver, a major organ, and they put a new one in and now, I am more alive than ever with tons of new found energy and I feel like there is so much joy and love in my heart that my heart is swelling inside my chest. I can hardly contain my joy when I am singing praises to my King. I also imagine meeting my donor in heaven someday. Oh, I hope this is part of my heaven experience. I will write a letter to the family, my coordinator will send it to Life Gift, and after six months, Life Gift will give my letter to the family and then the ball is in their court. It is totally up to them if they want to contact me, meet me, write me back, etc.. Please pray that they want to meet me. I really need to meet them, it is just who I am. I want to know a mother that is so selfless, she was able to give her son's organs to save many lives.

     I go back to the doctor tomorrow morning! I will try to blog more frequently, but I have been busy exercising twice a day and eating well-balanced diabetic, low-salt meals, taking medications on time, and just learning that I do have a few limits. Something God has really taught me throughout this entire experience is that it is okay to need people. I have been independent my entire life, almost to a point that I was proud. But, I love to help others, I receive so much joy from helping someone else, or just brightening someone's day. Now, people are doing that for me and I hope they all know how much it means to me. I love checking the mail because I have received a card everyday since I have been home!  The mealtrain has been a life-saver for us and makes our evenings go so smooth. I think God is showing me that He made a ton of us because we need each other, he did not create us to live alone, He wants us to fellowship, share, and love. Knowing someone loves you makes you feel so good inside, love really can conquer. Love is such a small word when you type it or write it, but it carries so much power. I am so glad that I have a family full of LOVE! I am missing my cousin Karen, she went to Florida for a girls trip, but she sends me picture texts of the beach and that makes me smile because I love the beach! My niece Karina has surprised me with her support, maturity, and love. I feel closer to her than I have in a long time and that alone makes my heart smile. My sister and I have a bond now where we don't have to talk, we can just look at each other and we know what the other is thinking. My mom got sick on Monday, so I haven't been able to be around her for the last 48 hours, so my cousin Lisa Wood stepped up and helped me out yesterday and we ended up having a really good time. My aunt Kay Wood has been helping us out with Thomas, allowing Paul and I to have some much needed alone time, mostly working-out together. Everywhere I turn, I have support. It is such a blessing to live each day with a feeling of my cup running over. Until next time, thanks again for everything! Tell someone you love them!

What a Week

     It feels so good to have been HOME for a whole week. Of course, I know this is just my temporary home. I have been blessed by so many people this past week. We have enjoyed so many delicious meals prepared with love by our friends and family.  Paul joked tonight how nice it would be if this lasted the rest of our lives! I actually can't wait until I can cook for my family again. I will be learning how to cook a whole new type of meals. I am now eating a diabetic, low-sodium diet. For the first time in my life, it is not hard to make the right choices when it comes to food. I told my doctor, this liver will only experience healthy food or food in moderation. People can bring all kinds of food, desserts, donuts, you name it, and I am not in the least bit tempted to partake. I mean, I have no intentions of ruining or hurting the most selfless gift I have ever received. Priorities are very different these days.
   
     Last Tuesday, I went in to clinic for lab work and the only bad part of this is the car ride. I might write the city of Houston about fixing all the bumps and potholes on Main St in the medical center. The main problem I have had is constant, persistent diarrhea. I literally start to cry when I have to go to the bathroom again, it is quite painful. They think this is a side effect of some of my meds, mainly magnesium. My labs showed low magnesium, so they even just went up on my dose of medication. I have lost 18 pounds so far and hope to continue in my weight loss journey.  My coordinator reminds me that this is not my goal right now and I realize that. I am taking lots of steroids as well, which is contributing to my blood glucose levels.  I am taking quite a bit of insulin at the moment, but I hope this will change soon. I am eating exactly how I have been instructed. Tuesday evening, my friend Kim Artall came by for a visit and brought a beautiful cookie bouquet. I enjoyed catching-up with Kim and having a time of normalcy, it makes my heart so happy every time I get to spend time with my longtime friend. I also received the most delicious cake balls decorated like little doctors, nurses, medicine, and medical supplies from the pharmacy department at the Galveston Shriners Hospital. It is so nice to have worked with such wonderful people.

     Last Wednesday was the only weekday that I didn't have to go into the clinic.  So, I took it easy for most of the day, except for my daily exercise, I went to Target with Karen. We were only there for about 30 minutes, but it felt so good to get out of the house.  The best part was feeling like a wife and mother again. I cannot hold Thomas or pick him up, or change his diapers, but I was able to shop for him and buy him food. It is the little things that I am able to do that make my heart happy. Wednesday night, my Aunt Tricia and Uncle Booley brought us dinner that was yummy and so appreciated. I think this is the same day that my good friend Katie Jones Weisen also came by and brought so much stuff, paper towels, gloves, glucometer, bleach wipes, gift card to Target, and the list goes on. She never ceased to amaze me because she is also a busy single mom of a cutie named Jackson. She works full-time and goes to school. She has a heart of gold and she came into my life after the twins died as a steady source of strength for me. She is a widow and was able to help me with my grieving process and I could freely express myself to her without her casting any judgement onto my life.

    Thursday was a busy day. It started with more blood work and an appt with my doctor. Dr. Goss is extremely handsome, confident, kind, brilliant, and his life is a true sacrifice. He and his partner Dr. O'Mahony never do a transplant surgery without each other, one of them always harvest the donor organ, and they are phenomenal. All of this also means that they don't go out of town much, they sacrifice time with their families, and they are literally on-call all the time. It amazes me that people like this exist. It inspires me to give more of myself like they do. I told him how much I appreciate him and what he does, he strives to be the best as well, but I have to be honest and tell you that the fact that I received no blood transfusions during my surgery is a true testament to his skill level. My incision is not healing great, but we are on the right track. We changed the dose of my insulin, I asked a ton of questions, and I asked about my donor. My coordinator said that that information was under lock and key and she did not check it before my appt so she would try to let me know next time. I really want to know more about this person. Before the doctor came into to visit me, this really sweet woman came into my room and introduced herself, it was Tamara, the sweetest voice I have ever heard. She also has a very sweet spirit about her. We hugged for a long time and I just cried. It felt so good to meet her. It is like we have some sort of unspoken bond now. The appt wore me out a bit and when we got home, I ended up resting a lot. They told me I could take this crazy binder off of my abdomen when I lay down, so I couldn't wait to get a break from the binder. I was resting in bed when the best jumping jacker I know Barbara Gillies came over with a scrumptious dinner. Her husband is a very lucky man. She is such a funny lady. When she came by to visit, she said, "I prayed over my utensils tonight just for you." Barbara is one of those people that is good at everything she does. She helped us with several fundraisers, she has steadily prayed for me, and she is a regular at the boot camp. My goal is to someday be able to beat Barbara at workout. Barbara has been nothing but a blessing to me since the moment I met her.

     Friday was really busy because I had to go to the med center for labs in the morning and I had to return for an abdominal ultrasound in the afternoon due to my billirubin levels being elevated. After the 8am labs, I returned to Pasadena and went to my MOPS class at church. I love fellowshiping with these other moms, it is so good to find out I am not crazy and that other women think just like me. To be honest, there is no where else I would rather be than at church. After MOPS, we went home and I rested before my ultrasound. I had to be NPO from all foods the whole day and this is where I became frustrated because my blood sugar was still elevated, after eating no food. It just blows my mind how the medications I take make my blood sugar go so crazy. Karen took me to my ultrasound at 2:30 and I was worried it was going to hurt, but the lady doing my ultrasound was very kind and gentle. I had to remove my dressing and Karen redressed it afterwards and we headed home. I always look forward to my time with Karen, she is just so full of utter goodness. She lives her life to help others.

     On Saturday, my Aunt Kay came to take care of me while my mom went to watch Karina's dance competition. For the first 30 days post transplant, we have to have two adults here all the time, one designated to take care of me and one designated to care for Thomas. It was nice to spend time with Kay and I was able to thank her for having Karen and for raising her right. I want so bad for all of Karen's dreams to come true, she deserves all the happiness in the world. In the afternoon, my good friend Kelly Brautigam came to care for me. I always tell people that if I need a nurse, I want it to be Kelly because she is extremely thorough and follows orders to the T. It was great to visit with her and she went to get Chilis for dinner. I had a blast catching up with her and hearing all about work stuff. I love the people I work with, they are some of the finest people I have ever known. I went to bed a little early Saturday night because I wanted to get adequate rest before church. I have a new excitement about going to church. I can't explain it, but I want to be in God's presence all the time and I want to be around other people that know my Jesus, my  miracle-giver, my prayer answerer. I want all to know Him.

    Sunday, we were a little late to church, but a lot of that is due to things I can't control, like diarrhea:(  It was great to hear the sermon and sing songs to my Saviour. I was able to talk to so many people and it was touching to see how many people are filled with joy from God answering our prayer. I want to go and personally thank those that prayed for me. When I am released to drive and travel more, please let me know if your Sunday School class or Bible Study Group has been praying for me, I would love to come in person to say thank you. I hope to prepare a PowerPoint of my journey and share my testimony every chance I may get. Thomas went over to my cousin Deborah's house Sunday evening and he had a blast playing with her two boys. He was so excited to get to go somewhere, he is very outgoing, which I am glad about. Speaking of Thomas, for the past six and a half months I have been extremely protective of my time with Thomas, I wanted pictures of everything, and I wanted to always be around him. I guess because if I was going to die, I wanted him to have some pictures and memories of me. I needed to be around him as much as possible. I can already feel my heart allowing me to be more relaxed about this issue. I know I still have issues from losing babies, like I don't ever want to spend the night away from him, the nights I spent in the hospital are enough for my lifetime. I want to always be in the same city as him, I don't know if I will ever be able to let him go to camp and be in a different city at night where I can't get to him immediately if something happens. I just love him so much. He is happy nearly all the time and his smile simply melts my heart. I can't wait until I can pick him up again. It is so hard when he is reaching for me and crying and I am only able to pat his cute little head. In time, this will pass and in the big picture, this is a small sacrifice compared to the sacrifice my donor made. I just love him so much. Thomas loves me unconditionally, I am sure of this and I will love him unconditionally all the days of my life. I pray he comes to know the Lord and that we will spend eternity in heaven together. Sunday dinner was brought to us by Peggy and Wayne Tabor and it was barbecue beef, which is one of Paul's favorites, it was extremely enjoyable. Thanks Peggy, the visit was even better than the food, I love you much.

     In the wee morning hours Sunday morning, my dad was taken by ambulance to the hospital for what people at work thought was a heart attack. It ended up being an extremely high fever and white count. My sister met him up at the hospital and he is still an inpatient tonight. They are running a bunch of tests to see where the infection is coming from. This has added a little stress to our whole daily routine, but nothing we can't handle. Please say a little prayer for my dad if you get the chance.

    Today, Monday, we went back for more blood work at 0800 and I received a call from my coordinator. They had drawn blood cultures and collected urine cultures on Friday due to my elevated billirubin as well. It turns out, I have a UTI (urinary tract infection). So, one more medication to add to the list for ten days to treat this. At my 9am medication administration, I take 29, that is right 29 different pills. It is overwhelming to get meds ready every week, but I know the number of meds will go down after 3 months and then again in a year.  Paul and I were able to stop at Cavenders on the way home to pick-up Thomas a shirt for Western Wear Day at his Mother's Day Out class. When we got home, my friend Amy Suffron came by for a much needed visit and girl time. She stayed with me while Paul went to pick-up Thomas from school.  I took a cat nap and called Verizon, because if you remember my previous post about my bad Verizon experience, I received my bill today for $600, of course all of it was bogus and a huge mistake, but I spent quite a while on the phone getting it all fixed. It should be fixed by tomorrow. Dinner was served by my sweet cousins, Deborah and Henry. It was also very tasty and it was nice to get to visit with Deb for a bit. Thanks again for reading, loving, caring, and encouraging. You guys are amazing and all I can say is that daily I am lucky enough to feel God's love and blessings in my life.