I had my surgery this past Tuesday and thankfully, God heard all of your prayers and it ended up being laparoscopic, which means my recovery time is much shorter. The doctor said he didn't have to move very much of my kidney, which is another huge blessing. All of the meds I take to keep my liver working are very hard on my kidneys, so I was worried about the hit my kidney would take. Originally, the doctor said I would have to stay a couple of nights, but I am pretty stubborn and insisted that I would only stay one night. I got out of bed on Tuesday evening and walked quite a bit around the unit, drank all of my clears, and proved I could go potty. Paul probably got sick of taking me to the bathroom so many times, but he was a trooper. I am always amazed by how many wonderful family members and friends I have surrounding me. It is humbling every single time. My coworkers are so protective of me and it is comforting to know that I work with people that love me and truly want to help me. Paul's parents came to our house at 5:15 am and took Thomas to school, they picked him up after school and brought him to the hospital to see me, which he is the best medicine in the entire world. I heard him coming down the hall saying, "where is my momma, I miss my momma!" These are the words I longed to hear as a mother, it still feels so good to be called a mother. Thomas is the reason I never want to stay very long in the hospital, I always want to be close to him and care for him.
When I arrived at 6:00 am to report for surgery, there waiting on me was my friend Donna Higgs. I know she is a one of a kind friend and I also know she was there representing our friend Kelly Bircher, who passed away last May. Donna is my funny friend, so being able to spend time laughing before surgery is always a bonus. She even came back that evening with a little horse stuffed animal to cheer me up. My mom, dad, and sister were also there to give me support first thing in the morning. My mom is always emotional and nervous before I have surgery and I try to keep in mind that I would probably be the same way if Thomas was having surgery. A great friend from church, Amy Suffron came during my surgery as well and brought some great snacks and things to help pass the time. After my surgery, Paul's brother also came by to see me, not to mention all the calls, emails, texts, and FB messages I received. As a nurse, I sometimes take care of patients with no visitors or family and this always breaks my heart, so I feel extremely lucky to be so loved. After being discharged home, I arrive and there is a package waiting on me from my sweet friend Heather, and she had sent me the cutest pajamas I have ever seen to wear in recovery. Both Donna and Heather are friends I met and made in nursing school. Taking a shower Thursday morning was the best thing I had done in a while, I put on my new pjs and walked as much as possible to help in getting all this extra air out of my abdomen. Later, I even made it to Thomas' Valentine's Day Party at his school. He kept telling the kids I had 5 booboos on my tummy and he kept wanting me to show all his friends my booboos. I did not show them, but I love how sweet he is. When I came home Wednesday evening, Thomas took off all of my band aids and taped-up gauze areas. He kept asking me if they were giving me anymore shots, he did not want me to have to get any shots while I was in the hospital. My sister, Tricia, took care of Thomas the night Paul and I spent in the hospital. She usually spoils him, which he loves. Any time we go to her house, Thomas will say, "Okay Mom, you can leave now, I want to stay at Tricia's house all by myself." I am glad he has a place that he feels so safe and special. He has his own snacks drawer in her kitchen and his own box of toys. My sister is so special to me, she is my go-to girl whenever I need help or just need to talk.
I absolutely love my surgeon, Dr. Mark Sutton, he is very thorough with excellent bedside manner. I sometimes try to imagine if my job was that of a surgeon. How crazy is it that he wakes up, gets ready, and then cuts people open and fixes their insides. I mean, it really is hard to wrap my mind around his ability to find a little tumor in my abdominal cavity and remove it with these little robotic arms and he didn't nick any other important parts in there. Health care is so amazing and continues to improve daily! Trusting someone with your life is such a test of my faith each and every time.
Thursday evening, my Sunday School class brought us a delicious dinner from my favorite place, Jimmy Changas. Before they came, my mom came over and cleaned my house, did some laundry, and let Thomas and I take a nap. Taking a nap is never over-rated, they always make me feel better. I had time to start reading a book Paul's Nana sent me about healing. She is such a Godly woman that always checks on me and shares Bible verses with me. Just when I might be getting a little discouraged, she calls or sends me a letter. I love learning from her daily and I hope to be a wife like her someday.
My next goal is to get back to Crossfit. I honestly feel like Crossfit is the reason I am feeling so good after surgery. I am able to do things by relying on the strength in my legs and upper body. I will have to lay-off abdominal work for a bit, but I hope to get back to the gym in the next two weeks. I miss my gym peeps and I really miss the way Crossfit makes me feel about myself.
As always, thanks for your prayers, love, concern, and encouragement. I am going to keep on going forward.
Friday, February 13, 2015
Monday, January 19, 2015
Yucky News
Things have really been going pretty great here recently. I go to Crossfit 5-6 times a week and truly love each and every workout. I love working part-time and spending the majority of my time with Thomas. He is so sweet and it is easy to have fun with him. Work has been great too! I am looking forward to our holiday party at the end of this month and in February, I will be going to a "Camp for All," with some of our patients and a bunch of our staff. Our holiday break was wonderful with lots of family, food, gifts, and good times.
In December, I had my routine MRI that I have every six months. They had been watching a spot on my kidney for the past two years that was small and had not grown or changed. Well, my December MRI showed some growth and they referred me to a urologist for further evaluation. I had an ultrasound that was inconclusive, so they sent me have a CT scan with contrast, drinking that stuff is seriously so disgusting, but I did it like a champ. This past Thursday, the doctor called and confirmed that it met all the requirements for being malignant and since 95% of all solid masses on the kidney that "light-up" on a scan are malignant. The good news is that they are going to remove it. I would prefer they remove it laproscopically, but of course I am always special and it is in a hard to reach place on the front of my kidney. So, currently, my doctor is consulting another doctor to try and come up with a plan of attack. I will find out soon the date to have a partial nephrectomy, which means they are going to remove part of my left kidney.
There are lots of positives in this situation. They found it very early, I trust and love the doctors taking care of me. Because of my Nana having to need a urologist, I met the doctor taking care of me, he is a class act, honest, and has excellent bedside manner. My only fear is the pain, which I know sounds wimpy, but I hate being in pain and not being able to do all the stuff I do everyday. My first question is about recovery time and how long until I can crossfit again. Kidney cancer is one of the best to get as far as low chances of spreading once it is removed.
Besides this little bump in the road, all else is wonderful. My niece Karina got engaged on New Year's Eve and we have been busy wedding planning and getting excited about the future. I love her fiance Daniel and he has already felt like family for a while now.
On a side note, I saw the movie American Sniper and I recommend all adults see this film if they are able. It is rated R for war violence and it has some cursing in the movie, but it is so moving. It really made me think about my freedom and how expensive it truly is. I hope 2015 has been awesome for you already and that it will only improve each day. Thanks for reading.
In December, I had my routine MRI that I have every six months. They had been watching a spot on my kidney for the past two years that was small and had not grown or changed. Well, my December MRI showed some growth and they referred me to a urologist for further evaluation. I had an ultrasound that was inconclusive, so they sent me have a CT scan with contrast, drinking that stuff is seriously so disgusting, but I did it like a champ. This past Thursday, the doctor called and confirmed that it met all the requirements for being malignant and since 95% of all solid masses on the kidney that "light-up" on a scan are malignant. The good news is that they are going to remove it. I would prefer they remove it laproscopically, but of course I am always special and it is in a hard to reach place on the front of my kidney. So, currently, my doctor is consulting another doctor to try and come up with a plan of attack. I will find out soon the date to have a partial nephrectomy, which means they are going to remove part of my left kidney.
There are lots of positives in this situation. They found it very early, I trust and love the doctors taking care of me. Because of my Nana having to need a urologist, I met the doctor taking care of me, he is a class act, honest, and has excellent bedside manner. My only fear is the pain, which I know sounds wimpy, but I hate being in pain and not being able to do all the stuff I do everyday. My first question is about recovery time and how long until I can crossfit again. Kidney cancer is one of the best to get as far as low chances of spreading once it is removed.
Besides this little bump in the road, all else is wonderful. My niece Karina got engaged on New Year's Eve and we have been busy wedding planning and getting excited about the future. I love her fiance Daniel and he has already felt like family for a while now.
On a side note, I saw the movie American Sniper and I recommend all adults see this film if they are able. It is rated R for war violence and it has some cursing in the movie, but it is so moving. It really made me think about my freedom and how expensive it truly is. I hope 2015 has been awesome for you already and that it will only improve each day. Thanks for reading.
Monday, December 22, 2014
Conversations With Thomas
I guess we have been talking a lot about Jesus lately, and Thomas has been so sweet with his questions. When he was hanging out with Paul one day, he asked Paul, "Daddy, what is sin?" Paul told him in four-year old language about sin and how Jesus never sinned. Anytime Thomas sees a cross, he will point at it and say, "there is the cross that Jesus died on for our sins." He says it loud and proud. It makes my heart so happy that he is talking about Jesus and asking questions about Him.
Last week, Thomas had a night where he threw-up repeatedly throughout the night. I took him downstairs and held him in the recliner (after changing the sheets) and it gave me comfort that he was upright with me. We both finally fell asleep for a couple of hours and when Thomas woke-up, he stated that he needed to ask me something. "Mommy, did Jesus cry?" I asked him what he meant and he wanted to know if Jesus cried when they put the nails in him? How sweet is that? Thomas is very tender-hearted and apparently really thinks about things. I told him that I was not sure if Jesus cried, but I know it had to hurt really bad, but Jesus was willing to endure all that pain for us. I love talking to my son about my Saviour. There is nothing more important that I can ever teach him about. Whenever Paul and I talk about having Jesus in our hearts, he always pipes in and says, "Jesus is in my heart too Momma!" I know the absolute most important thing I will ever do is teach my child about the love of Jesus and path to heaven.
Lots has been going on in my life since my last blog. I had to restart taking Prednisone after a second liver biopsy. They feel like my autoimmune illness was rearing it's ugly head again, but steroids should help keep it under control. Then, I has a splenic artery aneurysm repair on November 11. It was a fairly easy surgery, but I had some left shoulder pain that was a bit unbearable at times. After that, I did my full body MRI and Cat scan. They found that a mass on my kidney has grown, so I am currently doing further testing, but the urologist I am seeing made me feel like it is benign and I am trying to think positively. Every time I have an MRI, I do get a little nervous about them finding something else to worry about.
All of this, plus the holiday season had me stressed out and I felt like I couldn't relax at all. I called my college roommate's mom and asked for some guidance. She, of course, led me to several scriptures that have been so helpful to me. I want to be at peace, the peace that only God can give you, throughout every season of my life. Katy's mom, Janet seems to never get stressed out, and Katy was the same way. I knew she had an understanding in her walk with Christ that I long for. Philippians 4:6-7 and John 14:27 are the two scripture verses I have been meditating on. I have been able to relax and feel much less stressed about the holiday season and I have even been a little spontaneous too. I am grateful for friends like Katy and her family that have been so helpful to me and modeled how I want to raise my own family. It is surreal when you look at your life and see how God placed exactly the right people in my path to help me along my journey. I love when I am able to visit Katy at her family's home in Louisiana, nothing but great memories made there.
I will keep you updated on what we find out about my kidney growth and I hope all of you have a very Merry Christmas this year!
Last week, Thomas had a night where he threw-up repeatedly throughout the night. I took him downstairs and held him in the recliner (after changing the sheets) and it gave me comfort that he was upright with me. We both finally fell asleep for a couple of hours and when Thomas woke-up, he stated that he needed to ask me something. "Mommy, did Jesus cry?" I asked him what he meant and he wanted to know if Jesus cried when they put the nails in him? How sweet is that? Thomas is very tender-hearted and apparently really thinks about things. I told him that I was not sure if Jesus cried, but I know it had to hurt really bad, but Jesus was willing to endure all that pain for us. I love talking to my son about my Saviour. There is nothing more important that I can ever teach him about. Whenever Paul and I talk about having Jesus in our hearts, he always pipes in and says, "Jesus is in my heart too Momma!" I know the absolute most important thing I will ever do is teach my child about the love of Jesus and path to heaven.
Lots has been going on in my life since my last blog. I had to restart taking Prednisone after a second liver biopsy. They feel like my autoimmune illness was rearing it's ugly head again, but steroids should help keep it under control. Then, I has a splenic artery aneurysm repair on November 11. It was a fairly easy surgery, but I had some left shoulder pain that was a bit unbearable at times. After that, I did my full body MRI and Cat scan. They found that a mass on my kidney has grown, so I am currently doing further testing, but the urologist I am seeing made me feel like it is benign and I am trying to think positively. Every time I have an MRI, I do get a little nervous about them finding something else to worry about.
All of this, plus the holiday season had me stressed out and I felt like I couldn't relax at all. I called my college roommate's mom and asked for some guidance. She, of course, led me to several scriptures that have been so helpful to me. I want to be at peace, the peace that only God can give you, throughout every season of my life. Katy's mom, Janet seems to never get stressed out, and Katy was the same way. I knew she had an understanding in her walk with Christ that I long for. Philippians 4:6-7 and John 14:27 are the two scripture verses I have been meditating on. I have been able to relax and feel much less stressed about the holiday season and I have even been a little spontaneous too. I am grateful for friends like Katy and her family that have been so helpful to me and modeled how I want to raise my own family. It is surreal when you look at your life and see how God placed exactly the right people in my path to help me along my journey. I love when I am able to visit Katy at her family's home in Louisiana, nothing but great memories made there.
I will keep you updated on what we find out about my kidney growth and I hope all of you have a very Merry Christmas this year!
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Transplant Games and Crossing Over
The month of July was very exciting with the 2014 Transplant Games of America being held right here in Houston. This was my first time to participate because they are held every two years and you have to be 9 months post-transplant before you can participate and I was only a few months post-transplant the last time the games were held. The best thing that happened was that one of best friend's Heather had her beautiful son the day before the games began. I am so happy for her and her husband and can't wait to watch him grow-up. After visiting them in the hospital, I went to pick-up all my information, shirts, etc. I was instantly amazed at how many people were there. The Texas team had their own little meeting room, and I was able to go and see a few familiar faces from our volleyball practices. My schedule was as follows: Saturday morning 5K and Opening Ceremonies, Sunday was Table Tennis, Monday was Badminton, and Tuesday was Volleyball. The 5K was really a time for my family and for meeting people. Paul, Thomas, Karen, Noah, Donna, and Jessica all came out and completed the 5K. I loved sharing with my friends and family, but I also loved meeting donor families and other recipients. I cried walking to the car. I had not prepared myself for the emotional aspect of these games. I met a lady that had donated her son's eyes fifteen years ago and he would be 30 this year. She talked of how it made her feel good that two different people could see now because of her son's gift. I saw so many posters of loved ones that were donors. I really wish I could meet and know my donor family, just his name would help.
Saturday evening, we had Opening Ceremonies at the BBVA Compass stadium. This was super emotional and touching. The donors were so young, their families still so sad. I kept thinking about if it was Thomas, would I be able to give his organs away. These people never saw their loved-one not breathing. The whole time I was praying/talking to God about the gift of His Son. He loved me so much that He gave His son, it is so incredible. At first, I was sad that I couldn't sit with my family, but it turned out that I met a wonderful woman named Laurel from Dallas and we really hit it off. She received a kidney and she was one of those people that when you meet them, you instantly know they are good through and through. We enjoyed the ceremony and became FB friends. It is weird how I felt an instant connection with the people all around me, these people know exactly what I went through INSIDE. I can't always articulate how it felt to live because someone else died. It is heart-wrenching most days.
Sunday was the day Paul was most excited about. Paul had bought me a ping pong table as soon as I signed-up for this event, he decided to become my coach, and we played a ton of games in preparation for this day. I felt pretty good after hearing Paul say,"you are good for a girl," about a thousand times. Next time you see him, ask him how many times I beat him? Anyways, I went on to win the gold and make a new friend from Boston named Michelle Bennett. We too are now FB friends and I look forward to seeing her at the next games. Sunday evening I went to the viewing of a dear friend that passed away too soon. Ironically, she had received a kidney transplant 10 years ago. Her name was Vicky, a wonderful nurse I met while working at Shriners Galveston. She took me under her wing and mentored me while I worked in Galveston. She had the BEST work ethic ever. She had high expectations for her coworkers and even higher standards for herself. She taught me how to do things the right way, not the easy way. She protected me, she cared for me, and she encouraged me. When the boys died, she sent me the nicest care basket, came to their funeral, and she checked on me throughout my transplant ordeal. She lived her life in such a way that she did her best everyday, I hope to live my life that way.
At opening ceremonies, I met a family that had donated their daughter's organs a few years ago. They were very friendly and helpful. I would bump into them a lot and it was so nice to talk to them and to hear about their daughter. Her name was Madeline (that is my mom's name) and she had died after having a seizure. They all wore pins with her photo on them and I felt a little connection with them.
Monday was badminton. I have to admit, this was my first time to play a real game since 6th grade PE. I ended up only getting silver in this event and don't have a lot to say, except that if I did this event, I would definitely practice more first. I still had a great time and met another liver recipient that day from Oklahoma.
Tuesday was the day I had been waiting for! I love Volleyball, but I truly love team sports. I am competitive, I always have been. I met a beautiful 21 year-old girl from College Station named Taylor. We were both extremely competitive. Our team consisted of all different ages, races, religions, and transplants. We had a girl on our team that received both a heart and lungs, two other liver transplants, multiple kidney transplants, lung transplants and we even had a living donor who gave his kidney to save another person. We played volleyball from 9am to 5:30 ish that day and we ended up winning GOLD. We played as a team, worked hard, came back from behind, and we all should be DEAD. It hit me when I was serving in our very last game. We should all be dead. I started tearing up, look at how many of us are here because of a huge gift. We are all so blessed, and it is not like we are laying in a bed miserable, we are LIVING. I was literally overcome with emotion and gratitude. I can't even find the words to explain my feelings. After the closing ceremonies following our volleyball victory, the family of Madeline found me and gave me the pin with her picture on it. I lost it. I told them how grateful I was for families willing to do something so selfless and save others. I feel like these games were probably healing for them and it touched my heart that they would give me this special token. I will keep it and treasure it forever.
SO, one week before the Games, I started Crossfit. I have promised myself that I won't become the crazy crossfit person (Kea Lynn Lewis), but I totally get it now. I want to say so much to my coach, but I think he might think I am a little weird, so I keep it to myself. His name and Shane and he owns the CrossfitSouthbelt if any of you are interested. I had wanted to try it, but I was afraid everyone there were just masses of muscle walking around doing pull-ups all the time. I ran into an old friend Carolyn Crawford McMahan at Wal-Mart one day and she looked GREAT. I asked her about how she looked so awesome and she told me about crossfit, her eyes and face lit-up and she had the biggest smile. She convinced me to give it a try. I am so glad I did. If I could explain crossfit, I would tell you that it is more about how I feel after completing a WOD. I leave feeling like I could do anything, world peace-easy, run for president, find a cure for cancer, and the list goes on. I could not do a sit-up for like two years and my abs are definitely weak. After about a month of crossfit, we had to do 50 sit-ups with a medicine ball, and I DID it! Shane will never know that I went to my car and cried like a baby. I felt so proud, but mostly I felt like the old Katrinia. Shane doesn't know much about my history. He treats me normal. He doesn't look at me like the lady who buried her twin sons, the lady that had cancer, the lady that had a transplant, HE TREATS ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! I know people can't help it that they care and I didn't even realize that what I needed was someone who didn't let me make excuses. He is a great coach that is tough and he is funny. I have become emotional (on the inside) more than a few times during a work-out because I am doing things that I never thought I would do again. The best part is that I am already seeing results and I feel GREAT. Nothing seems out of reach for me anymore. If you wonder what I have been up to, now you know.
I go to two different doctors next week, please pray that I can stop taking this anti-fungal medication that I have had to take for the last 13 months. It tastes gross and it messes with my liver enzymes, so it would also mean less labwork! I have also been having blood sugar issues only in the mornings, so we are trying to get all that worked out. Thank you for your continued love and support. My next goal is to go to the World Transplant Games in Argentina in 2015!
Saturday evening, we had Opening Ceremonies at the BBVA Compass stadium. This was super emotional and touching. The donors were so young, their families still so sad. I kept thinking about if it was Thomas, would I be able to give his organs away. These people never saw their loved-one not breathing. The whole time I was praying/talking to God about the gift of His Son. He loved me so much that He gave His son, it is so incredible. At first, I was sad that I couldn't sit with my family, but it turned out that I met a wonderful woman named Laurel from Dallas and we really hit it off. She received a kidney and she was one of those people that when you meet them, you instantly know they are good through and through. We enjoyed the ceremony and became FB friends. It is weird how I felt an instant connection with the people all around me, these people know exactly what I went through INSIDE. I can't always articulate how it felt to live because someone else died. It is heart-wrenching most days.
Sunday was the day Paul was most excited about. Paul had bought me a ping pong table as soon as I signed-up for this event, he decided to become my coach, and we played a ton of games in preparation for this day. I felt pretty good after hearing Paul say,"you are good for a girl," about a thousand times. Next time you see him, ask him how many times I beat him? Anyways, I went on to win the gold and make a new friend from Boston named Michelle Bennett. We too are now FB friends and I look forward to seeing her at the next games. Sunday evening I went to the viewing of a dear friend that passed away too soon. Ironically, she had received a kidney transplant 10 years ago. Her name was Vicky, a wonderful nurse I met while working at Shriners Galveston. She took me under her wing and mentored me while I worked in Galveston. She had the BEST work ethic ever. She had high expectations for her coworkers and even higher standards for herself. She taught me how to do things the right way, not the easy way. She protected me, she cared for me, and she encouraged me. When the boys died, she sent me the nicest care basket, came to their funeral, and she checked on me throughout my transplant ordeal. She lived her life in such a way that she did her best everyday, I hope to live my life that way.
At opening ceremonies, I met a family that had donated their daughter's organs a few years ago. They were very friendly and helpful. I would bump into them a lot and it was so nice to talk to them and to hear about their daughter. Her name was Madeline (that is my mom's name) and she had died after having a seizure. They all wore pins with her photo on them and I felt a little connection with them.
Monday was badminton. I have to admit, this was my first time to play a real game since 6th grade PE. I ended up only getting silver in this event and don't have a lot to say, except that if I did this event, I would definitely practice more first. I still had a great time and met another liver recipient that day from Oklahoma.
Tuesday was the day I had been waiting for! I love Volleyball, but I truly love team sports. I am competitive, I always have been. I met a beautiful 21 year-old girl from College Station named Taylor. We were both extremely competitive. Our team consisted of all different ages, races, religions, and transplants. We had a girl on our team that received both a heart and lungs, two other liver transplants, multiple kidney transplants, lung transplants and we even had a living donor who gave his kidney to save another person. We played volleyball from 9am to 5:30 ish that day and we ended up winning GOLD. We played as a team, worked hard, came back from behind, and we all should be DEAD. It hit me when I was serving in our very last game. We should all be dead. I started tearing up, look at how many of us are here because of a huge gift. We are all so blessed, and it is not like we are laying in a bed miserable, we are LIVING. I was literally overcome with emotion and gratitude. I can't even find the words to explain my feelings. After the closing ceremonies following our volleyball victory, the family of Madeline found me and gave me the pin with her picture on it. I lost it. I told them how grateful I was for families willing to do something so selfless and save others. I feel like these games were probably healing for them and it touched my heart that they would give me this special token. I will keep it and treasure it forever.
SO, one week before the Games, I started Crossfit. I have promised myself that I won't become the crazy crossfit person (Kea Lynn Lewis), but I totally get it now. I want to say so much to my coach, but I think he might think I am a little weird, so I keep it to myself. His name and Shane and he owns the CrossfitSouthbelt if any of you are interested. I had wanted to try it, but I was afraid everyone there were just masses of muscle walking around doing pull-ups all the time. I ran into an old friend Carolyn Crawford McMahan at Wal-Mart one day and she looked GREAT. I asked her about how she looked so awesome and she told me about crossfit, her eyes and face lit-up and she had the biggest smile. She convinced me to give it a try. I am so glad I did. If I could explain crossfit, I would tell you that it is more about how I feel after completing a WOD. I leave feeling like I could do anything, world peace-easy, run for president, find a cure for cancer, and the list goes on. I could not do a sit-up for like two years and my abs are definitely weak. After about a month of crossfit, we had to do 50 sit-ups with a medicine ball, and I DID it! Shane will never know that I went to my car and cried like a baby. I felt so proud, but mostly I felt like the old Katrinia. Shane doesn't know much about my history. He treats me normal. He doesn't look at me like the lady who buried her twin sons, the lady that had cancer, the lady that had a transplant, HE TREATS ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! I know people can't help it that they care and I didn't even realize that what I needed was someone who didn't let me make excuses. He is a great coach that is tough and he is funny. I have become emotional (on the inside) more than a few times during a work-out because I am doing things that I never thought I would do again. The best part is that I am already seeing results and I feel GREAT. Nothing seems out of reach for me anymore. If you wonder what I have been up to, now you know.
I go to two different doctors next week, please pray that I can stop taking this anti-fungal medication that I have had to take for the last 13 months. It tastes gross and it messes with my liver enzymes, so it would also mean less labwork! I have also been having blood sugar issues only in the mornings, so we are trying to get all that worked out. Thank you for your continued love and support. My next goal is to go to the World Transplant Games in Argentina in 2015!
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
A Little Scare
This past June 9, I had a bit of a scare with my health. I was at work and coughed a little bit and spit up a bunch of blood. I did that a few more times and contacted my coordinator and my doctor. They both said I needed to go to the ER. I had already convinced myself that I was dying of lung cancer. Being immuno-compromised puts me at a much higher rate for cancer. When I go to all these tests I have done, they are checking for cancer. The only thing I knew of that caused you to cough up blood was cancer or TB. I knew that I didn't have TB, because I had been tested like 15 times for it and they were all negative. I decided not to tell anyone, except Paul, that I was going to the ER. If I had cancer, I wanted some time to think about it before I told anyone. I check-in and am assigned to a room with a super nurse named Karen. She drew a bunch of labs and cultures and sent me to have a chest x-ray. The chest x-ray was negative, so now they were all confused by what would cause me to cough up blood. I had coughed up a few samples by this point. I went for a CT Scan and waited for the pulmonologist to come back and talk to me. I had already decided that I would go to Hawaii before I died, it is the top thing on my bucket list. The doctor came in with a smile! It appeared that I had a really bad case of bronchitis, I never knew that could cause bleeding. They gave me some IV antibiotics and they wanted to admit me. I refused to be admitted because they weren't going to do any further testing and I could take antibiotics at home. My nurse advocated for me and they finally agreed to let me go home. I had an appt with my doctor already scheduled for the next week and I am super compliant. Needless to say, I am ashamed that I immediately thought the worst when God has been so good to me. I was reminded that I work with wonderful people like Christina and Roxanne that always take care of me and check on me. I don't want to think about the worst case scenarios anymore. I am thankful to live right next to the best medical center in the world. I am in good hands, God's hands.
My Buddy Kelly
Many of you are my friends on facebook or you are people I see all the time in my everyday life. You might have noticed that I posted about one of my best friends passing away unexpectedly. I met Kelly when I worked in the PICU at Shriners Galveston. I remember watching her nurse patients in a way I hadn't seen before. She was extremely efficient and knowledgeable. She knew every lab value, every medication side effects, and she was confident in her nursing ability. We loved our patients in the same way, maybe a little too much sometimes. Donna and I had gone to nursing school together and then we both started our careers together in Galveston. Donna, Kelly, and I hit it off instantly. Kelly wondered how I could still be smiling at the end of my shift (the beginning of hers) after taking care of such sad stories that all involved children. We would all meet up for lunch or dinner when we could, but mostly, we bonded over our patients. We cried together, laughed together, protected our patients together, and vented to one another. We were a perfect little trio. Kelly and Donna always come through for me. They were there when my babies died, they were at their funeral, they were by my side when I was diagnosed with cancer, there when I needed a break, they were there when I received my transplant, they were there for all my bdays, all of Thomas' bdays, fundraisers, and the list goes on. Simply put, I could count on these two. In fact, this past weekend, Donna came to the 5K for the transplant games and so did Jessica, a friend of Kelly's that I have met a few times. The whole time I was at the 5k, I kept thinking about Kelly and the fact that she would have been there too.
On May 5, 2014, Donna called me and asked if I had heard from Kelly. She told me that Kelly had texted her early Sunday morning saying that she couldn't sleep and hadn't slept in a while. Kelly had started a new job and had spent the past few months working days and was making the switch to the night shift. She had been sick too. I was at work and started texting Kelly immediately. Texting was her favorite form of communicating. I never heard anything. Donna went over to Kelly's place to see if she was home. She knocked and knocked and kept calling Kelly. Donna called me and I was heading over to Kelly's too as soon as I gave report, I could hear the worry in Donna's voice and we decided she should call the police. The whole time, we knew Kelly was going to be so mad at us when the police came. Donna told the police officer when he got there that she was worried about Kelly. He acted a little annoyed and he called the fire dept to come and get into her house. I saw the firetruck going and pulled in right after them. The whole time I had this horrible feeling in my tummy. Donna sent me a text that was life-changing. I ran to the back door of Kelly's place and found my Donna and we hugged and cried for a while. Kelly was gone, she had passed away.
So many questions filled our thoughts. I kept thinking about the last time I had talked to her. We always told each other that we loved one another. Her new job was working with transplant patients at St. Luke's, she had even told my surgeon that she better treat me right! We were concerned about her dogs and the policeman told us we could return at 10pm to get her dogs. We told him Kelly's parents names and we had their address (we had gone to a Sunday dinner at their home). The police officer said that they would get to that later in a day or two????????????? What the heck? I could not just go home and go to sleep and know that Kelly was no longer alive, but her mom not know. The policeman saw my outrage and told me not to go and tell her parents. I said that he can't tell me what to do and Donna and I hopped into her car and headed to the Bircher's home. I guess the reality of what we were headed there to do didn't set in until we pulled up to their lovely home. They were not home, my heart was racing, I was nauseous, I was deeply sad, I was in shock and now I was about to tell a woman who I had instantly hit it off with that her baby girl had died. Shortly after we arrived, they came home from their grandson's baseball game. Kelly's mom Pat looked so cute in her baseball shirt and I think she knew something was wrong immediately. Our eyes were puffy and our hearts heavy. I couldn't manage a smile. We went inside and sat down in their living room where I know so many happy memories had been made. I grabbed Pat's hand and I did my best to be eloquent, but I couldn't seem to say the words. Soon, the room was filled with sobbing and questions.
I kept thinking about how in February, my doctor's thought I was showing signs of rejection and I had a liver biopsy. We had to get there at like 7am, when I arrived, there was Kelly. She stayed with me the whole day and Donna came to check on me too. Kelly had to come and make sure they were treating me right because it was taking too long. She saw that they had to rush me to CT scan to make sure there was no active bleeding in my abdomen. My sats had dropped and I couldn't seem to breathe, I was scared. Come to find out, they had hit the nerve that controls my diaphragm and that is why I couldn't breathe. I had to have oxygen until I was able to breathe better. Kelly was right there. I knew she would not let anything happen to me, she could save anyone. I still can't stop thinking about her and our friendship. I wrote one of her letters of reference for life-flight, which was an honor for me to write. I had been able to be there for her in the past year like she has always been there for me. Who was I going to call when my labs were terrible? Who was I going to call when I had a nursing question? Why was she dead? How awesome of a friend is Donna? She could have looked totally crazy but she didn't care, she was worried about a friend and followed her intuition. I had to watch the second season of Orange is the New Black without Kelly, the person who made me watch it in the first place. I miss our dinners, our outings, our texts, I miss her. It is weird how caring for the same patient can bond you, when you work so hard together to keep some one's child alive. I admired her so much. I love her whole family. Her mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law and her sweet nephews. Thomas was able to meet them last month and they all hit it off. My goal is to keep in contact with her family forever. Her family even donated the money received after her death to organ donation. Kelly was my biggest advocate. If you think about it, say a prayer for her family, especially her mom. Kelly had offered to have a baby for me, give me her liver (partial donation) and she was the most selfless person I knew. I am so thankful for the time I was able to spend with her and I look forward to the time I can spend with her family. Kelly Bircher, gone way too soon, but you will never be forgotten.
On May 5, 2014, Donna called me and asked if I had heard from Kelly. She told me that Kelly had texted her early Sunday morning saying that she couldn't sleep and hadn't slept in a while. Kelly had started a new job and had spent the past few months working days and was making the switch to the night shift. She had been sick too. I was at work and started texting Kelly immediately. Texting was her favorite form of communicating. I never heard anything. Donna went over to Kelly's place to see if she was home. She knocked and knocked and kept calling Kelly. Donna called me and I was heading over to Kelly's too as soon as I gave report, I could hear the worry in Donna's voice and we decided she should call the police. The whole time, we knew Kelly was going to be so mad at us when the police came. Donna told the police officer when he got there that she was worried about Kelly. He acted a little annoyed and he called the fire dept to come and get into her house. I saw the firetruck going and pulled in right after them. The whole time I had this horrible feeling in my tummy. Donna sent me a text that was life-changing. I ran to the back door of Kelly's place and found my Donna and we hugged and cried for a while. Kelly was gone, she had passed away.
So many questions filled our thoughts. I kept thinking about the last time I had talked to her. We always told each other that we loved one another. Her new job was working with transplant patients at St. Luke's, she had even told my surgeon that she better treat me right! We were concerned about her dogs and the policeman told us we could return at 10pm to get her dogs. We told him Kelly's parents names and we had their address (we had gone to a Sunday dinner at their home). The police officer said that they would get to that later in a day or two????????????? What the heck? I could not just go home and go to sleep and know that Kelly was no longer alive, but her mom not know. The policeman saw my outrage and told me not to go and tell her parents. I said that he can't tell me what to do and Donna and I hopped into her car and headed to the Bircher's home. I guess the reality of what we were headed there to do didn't set in until we pulled up to their lovely home. They were not home, my heart was racing, I was nauseous, I was deeply sad, I was in shock and now I was about to tell a woman who I had instantly hit it off with that her baby girl had died. Shortly after we arrived, they came home from their grandson's baseball game. Kelly's mom Pat looked so cute in her baseball shirt and I think she knew something was wrong immediately. Our eyes were puffy and our hearts heavy. I couldn't manage a smile. We went inside and sat down in their living room where I know so many happy memories had been made. I grabbed Pat's hand and I did my best to be eloquent, but I couldn't seem to say the words. Soon, the room was filled with sobbing and questions.
I kept thinking about how in February, my doctor's thought I was showing signs of rejection and I had a liver biopsy. We had to get there at like 7am, when I arrived, there was Kelly. She stayed with me the whole day and Donna came to check on me too. Kelly had to come and make sure they were treating me right because it was taking too long. She saw that they had to rush me to CT scan to make sure there was no active bleeding in my abdomen. My sats had dropped and I couldn't seem to breathe, I was scared. Come to find out, they had hit the nerve that controls my diaphragm and that is why I couldn't breathe. I had to have oxygen until I was able to breathe better. Kelly was right there. I knew she would not let anything happen to me, she could save anyone. I still can't stop thinking about her and our friendship. I wrote one of her letters of reference for life-flight, which was an honor for me to write. I had been able to be there for her in the past year like she has always been there for me. Who was I going to call when my labs were terrible? Who was I going to call when I had a nursing question? Why was she dead? How awesome of a friend is Donna? She could have looked totally crazy but she didn't care, she was worried about a friend and followed her intuition. I had to watch the second season of Orange is the New Black without Kelly, the person who made me watch it in the first place. I miss our dinners, our outings, our texts, I miss her. It is weird how caring for the same patient can bond you, when you work so hard together to keep some one's child alive. I admired her so much. I love her whole family. Her mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law and her sweet nephews. Thomas was able to meet them last month and they all hit it off. My goal is to keep in contact with her family forever. Her family even donated the money received after her death to organ donation. Kelly was my biggest advocate. If you think about it, say a prayer for her family, especially her mom. Kelly had offered to have a baby for me, give me her liver (partial donation) and she was the most selfless person I knew. I am so thankful for the time I was able to spend with her and I look forward to the time I can spend with her family. Kelly Bircher, gone way too soon, but you will never be forgotten.
Friday, August 16, 2013
Getting off the Guilt Trip Train
Since I had some time off, I have spent a lot of time doing some self-reflecting. Something I have always hated is GUILT TRIPS. They are the worst kind of trip. My whole life, I have been put on guilt trips or people try to make me feel guilty. I have also been the engineer of a few guilt trips myself. I have quit cold-turkey, I don't want someone to do something for me out of guilt and I don't want to do stuff for others out of guilt. I want to do it out of joy, necessity, desire, etc.. I put Paul on the most guilt trips. I try to get him to feel bad enough to do something I want. Well, I used to, like three weeks ago. I have found that he does more of what I need out of his own desire. I also do not want to let myself get stuck doing stuff I don't want to do out of guilt. I am tired of it. I want to live in such a way that if I miss the dinner, you know the one, "it could be his last birthday dinner," that I can live with myself knowing that every day of my life I treated that person wonderful and it didn't come down to one last meal. How morbid anyways. I don't want to do what I have always done for holiday out of guilt. Here is a news flash, the guilt ruins the experience and leads to resentment. So, if you are guilty of putting people on guilt trips, then you need to stop. You can do it, and if you revert back to your old ways, you can keep trying to stop this behavior.
My second flaw is, I can't believe I am going to admit this, but sometimes I am a bit of a control freak. I feel like a load was just lifted off of my shoulders in that last sentence. I mean, does it really matter in the grand scheme of things if one dish is not placed correctly in the dish washer, or if the towels aren't turned the right way in the cabinet? I should be thankful that someone helped me out and put the dirty dishes in the washer or put my stuff away. Being controlling leads to me doing everything by myself because I won't let anyone do it because they might not do it my way. How dare them? When I think about all the stuff I have obsessed about like the shower curtain, dirty clothes piles, the way someone washes their hands, etc.. it makes me feel silly. NONE of this crap matters to Jesus. He is not going to ask Paul why he never closes the shower curtain. All these little things I want to control take my focus off of Christ, and that is why I am doing better. I am recognizing what are the small things and letting them go. I am learning to trust, especially when it comes to trusting my medical team. They do know more than me and I have to trust them to care for me.
I guess you can see that I am a work in progress, but the progress is the keyword. I don't want to regress. I want to be the type of person that my son is proud of and I want to be pleasing in the sight of the Lord.
My second flaw is, I can't believe I am going to admit this, but sometimes I am a bit of a control freak. I feel like a load was just lifted off of my shoulders in that last sentence. I mean, does it really matter in the grand scheme of things if one dish is not placed correctly in the dish washer, or if the towels aren't turned the right way in the cabinet? I should be thankful that someone helped me out and put the dirty dishes in the washer or put my stuff away. Being controlling leads to me doing everything by myself because I won't let anyone do it because they might not do it my way. How dare them? When I think about all the stuff I have obsessed about like the shower curtain, dirty clothes piles, the way someone washes their hands, etc.. it makes me feel silly. NONE of this crap matters to Jesus. He is not going to ask Paul why he never closes the shower curtain. All these little things I want to control take my focus off of Christ, and that is why I am doing better. I am recognizing what are the small things and letting them go. I am learning to trust, especially when it comes to trusting my medical team. They do know more than me and I have to trust them to care for me.
I guess you can see that I am a work in progress, but the progress is the keyword. I don't want to regress. I want to be the type of person that my son is proud of and I want to be pleasing in the sight of the Lord.
Just a Drop
I guess I need to update everyone with what the heck was/is going on with me. Back at the end of Feb/ beginning of March, I had my yearly CT scan, MRI, x-rays, etc.. They saw "something" in my left lower lung. They decided to "watch it" for three months, and of course, I did question waiting so long, but they thought it was just an infection and my lungs would be clear in three months. I am great at being optimistic, so I went on with life. I had absolutely NO symptoms, no fever, no cough, no fatigue, no headaches, nothing! I used to be able to do testing like MRIs with little or no anxiety, but ever since receiving a diagnosis of cancer after an MRI, I always start stressing out a little. It doesn't help that I always seem to get the MRI guy that yells, "Quit breathing," when he needs me to exhale and hold my breath. In my head I am telling this guy, " Hello, I have done everything in my power to keep breathing, so I am not going to stop breathing buddy!" Anyways, the "infection" in my lungs had spread to both lungs and all over the lower lobes. I was scheduled to see a Pulmonologist, then he scheduled me for a bronchoscope. I feel like I could train patients for what to expect for nearly every medical test in the world! After the bronchoscope,my Dr called to let me know I had a fungus among us, it is called Aspergillus, and it comes from the soil/dirt. I would need to see an Infectious Disease Dr and start taking oral medication. OK, I can handle that. That was Wednesday morning, and I was at work with the best people ever. Fast forward a few hours, Wednesday afternoon, the ID Dr. calls me himself (automatically knew it was bad), he tells me I need to come and be admitted immediately to the hospital. He has a super strong accent, so I either missed some important information, or he forgot to tell me. I finish my shift because nurses just can't abandon their patients. My co-workers hustled to help me out so I could get out a little early. I get to the hospital, I have to go through the ER, where they make me wear a mask and I am being admitted and will have a STAT MRI of the brain! Umm, Hello?? Can someone come tell my why I need a stat MRI of my brain? I had the absolute best nurse ever that looked at all my results and I had a second fungus in my lungs:( The doctors are stumped as to how I could also have Cryptococcus in my lungs, which is from pigeon droppings. At this point, I start wishing I lived in a bubble. And, here is the kicker, they think since this has been in my lungs since FEB, it it probably in my brain and spinal fluid! Yes, when all 8 doctors came into my room the following morning, I asked if next time something shows up on my CT scan or MRI if we were just going to watch it again. They all said no, we will not do this again. Ok, thank you very much.
Then, they told me I would need a Lumber Puncture. I know this makes me sound like a baby, but I was dreading this. Of course, my wonderful cousin Karen was with me all day and she made it better. It did hurt, but I think I have built up some tolerance to pain. I didn't know this, but I was about to be tested in the area of pain. They told me I would start my IV medication on Thursday, and if all went okay, then I would get a PICC line and go home with this IV medication. The day nurse pre-medicated me several hours before the night nurse gave me the dreaded AmphotericinB. I had a dose of Tylenol and Benadryl. A little after 9:00 that night, the nurse started the medication. My sister was staying with me. Literally seconds after it started infusing, I sat up and I knew something was wrong. I was super hot, my heart starting racing, and then it felt like someone was sitting on my chest. It was immense pain, worse than any other pain I have experienced. I started having convulsions, shivering, and my neck started swelling. I literally thought, this was it, I honestly believed I was dying. This was scarier to me than those few seconds right before they put me to sleep for my transplant. All my vital signs went crazy high, and they called the Rapid Response Team to my room. The nurse had stopped the medication less than a minute before it was started. I only received drops of this liquid that made me feel so terrible, hence it's nickname Amphoterrible. During this crazy time, I locked eyes with my sister and I simply started talking to Jesus. I was begging Him not to take me now. I wanted to live, live the way He wants me to. I have so much more I want to accomplish yet. After I felt better and all the people left my room, my sister and I hugged for quite awhile. I love her so much. She called Paul and my mom after all this happened and I assured them I was okay.
All of this made me start thinking about how a few drops of a medication could make me feel such immense pain in matters of seconds, that it could affect my heart and make me feel something I had never experienced before. It hit me, just a little of bitterness, hatred, jealousy, all of those could damage my heart and walk with Christ. I have let a few things that hurt my feelings make me become bitter and mean to a few people. This has only hurt me and my walk with my Savior! I would no longer let this continue. I am/have changed. I have simply let it go, I don't need an apology. People will have to answer for their own actions, they will be judged by the most high, not me. I am not going to let any one's actions lead me astray and put hate in my heart. I could be at fault and misread their intentions. I am not perfect either, and that means I can do better, I can be better. I am not even going to talk about it with these people, I am just going to prove it with my actions. I want to be full of love, the love of Christ. Look at how blessed I have been in my life, I am alive because of Jesus! I want to keep getting better spiritually! Don't let anything or anyone poison your heart, it only hurts you more. I am tearing down the walls I have built-up around my heart. I want to have all my heart available for Jesus to fill me with more joy than I can handle!
Okay, so they switched me to three different medications to kill the fungus, but it will take a while. I will be on one of them for 9-12 months, and at first they made me sick as a dog, but the headaches, and vomiting has subsided. I am still nauseated, but it is livable nausea. I returned to work yesterday, but was called today and told I couldn't work because something was now growing on my spinal fluid cultures. So, I am scheduled to have another Lumbar Puncture because my doctor thinks it is an error because I have no symptoms of what is growing. I had a small pity party about having to endure another Lumbar Puncture, but I quickly focused my attention back onto Christ. I remember watching The Passion of Christ and hearing the sounds of Jesus being beat and crucified. I had to leave the theater, I couldn't watch one more second of the torture. Jesus never sinned, He didn't deserve it. I have sinned, I can handle this. I can because I have Jesus. I often wonder how people that do not know Jesus live, how do they survive? I hope you know Him like I do, if you don't, I would be more than happy to tell you all about my loving God.
Then, they told me I would need a Lumber Puncture. I know this makes me sound like a baby, but I was dreading this. Of course, my wonderful cousin Karen was with me all day and she made it better. It did hurt, but I think I have built up some tolerance to pain. I didn't know this, but I was about to be tested in the area of pain. They told me I would start my IV medication on Thursday, and if all went okay, then I would get a PICC line and go home with this IV medication. The day nurse pre-medicated me several hours before the night nurse gave me the dreaded AmphotericinB. I had a dose of Tylenol and Benadryl. A little after 9:00 that night, the nurse started the medication. My sister was staying with me. Literally seconds after it started infusing, I sat up and I knew something was wrong. I was super hot, my heart starting racing, and then it felt like someone was sitting on my chest. It was immense pain, worse than any other pain I have experienced. I started having convulsions, shivering, and my neck started swelling. I literally thought, this was it, I honestly believed I was dying. This was scarier to me than those few seconds right before they put me to sleep for my transplant. All my vital signs went crazy high, and they called the Rapid Response Team to my room. The nurse had stopped the medication less than a minute before it was started. I only received drops of this liquid that made me feel so terrible, hence it's nickname Amphoterrible. During this crazy time, I locked eyes with my sister and I simply started talking to Jesus. I was begging Him not to take me now. I wanted to live, live the way He wants me to. I have so much more I want to accomplish yet. After I felt better and all the people left my room, my sister and I hugged for quite awhile. I love her so much. She called Paul and my mom after all this happened and I assured them I was okay.
All of this made me start thinking about how a few drops of a medication could make me feel such immense pain in matters of seconds, that it could affect my heart and make me feel something I had never experienced before. It hit me, just a little of bitterness, hatred, jealousy, all of those could damage my heart and walk with Christ. I have let a few things that hurt my feelings make me become bitter and mean to a few people. This has only hurt me and my walk with my Savior! I would no longer let this continue. I am/have changed. I have simply let it go, I don't need an apology. People will have to answer for their own actions, they will be judged by the most high, not me. I am not going to let any one's actions lead me astray and put hate in my heart. I could be at fault and misread their intentions. I am not perfect either, and that means I can do better, I can be better. I am not even going to talk about it with these people, I am just going to prove it with my actions. I want to be full of love, the love of Christ. Look at how blessed I have been in my life, I am alive because of Jesus! I want to keep getting better spiritually! Don't let anything or anyone poison your heart, it only hurts you more. I am tearing down the walls I have built-up around my heart. I want to have all my heart available for Jesus to fill me with more joy than I can handle!
Okay, so they switched me to three different medications to kill the fungus, but it will take a while. I will be on one of them for 9-12 months, and at first they made me sick as a dog, but the headaches, and vomiting has subsided. I am still nauseated, but it is livable nausea. I returned to work yesterday, but was called today and told I couldn't work because something was now growing on my spinal fluid cultures. So, I am scheduled to have another Lumbar Puncture because my doctor thinks it is an error because I have no symptoms of what is growing. I had a small pity party about having to endure another Lumbar Puncture, but I quickly focused my attention back onto Christ. I remember watching The Passion of Christ and hearing the sounds of Jesus being beat and crucified. I had to leave the theater, I couldn't watch one more second of the torture. Jesus never sinned, He didn't deserve it. I have sinned, I can handle this. I can because I have Jesus. I often wonder how people that do not know Jesus live, how do they survive? I hope you know Him like I do, if you don't, I would be more than happy to tell you all about my loving God.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
The Baby Topic
Tonight, Paul, Thomas, and I went to Dr. Rowe's house for a get-together. Paul attends a weekly Bible Study at his house, and tonight families were invited for food, fellowship, and a movie. Thomas had a blast playing in his pool and with the other kids. So many of the people there have lost babies, struggled to have babies, or had really difficult pregnancies, and he is still ministering to us. I enjoyed the video and talking with another woman there, who I have always found very easy to talk to. She is one of those people that you immediately know she is genuinely kind and she really cares. She recently had a miscarriage and I just wanted to scoop her up and hug her. We talked about adoption and stuff like that and then we eased right into talk about how hard it is to be around women that can get pregnant so easily and have simple, perfect pregnancies. It is not that we are mad or jealous, it just makes you start comparing yourself to them and you start becoming insecure. You start wondering what is different about them, why does God want me to go down this road? It always turns into soul-searching for me.
This brings us to the elephant in the room that I have been avoiding. YES, I desperately want another baby. Two of the greatest people I know are my brother and sister. I want Thomas to experience having a sibling and the bond that is created. I want him to have someone to play with all the time, I want him to have a little sibling to protect. I want more.
In the back of my head and probably in your thoughts right now, I know I am lucky to have Thomas and if God only wants us to have one, then I will have to accept it soon. I remember when Kelly Higgins brought my family dinner after my transplant, I asked her if she was going to have any more babies? She told me she couldn't have any more, but would love to. I remember thinking to myself that she had such a peace about it and seemed to trust God's plan. Not even a few months later, I saw on Facebook that she was pregnant. My heart filled with joy for her. I want to have that peace inside my soul too, but I am honestly not there yet.
Can I have a baby? Technically, Yes. I am currently being winged off my CellCept because this medication would kill my baby, but my doctor STRESSED that having another baby is super high risk, I could go into rejection, get really sick, lose the baby, have something wrong with the baby, or die. The last one got me. I have done everything in my power not to die. Sometimes, I feel like I have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other taunting me. I wonder if I am supposed to just trust God and if I happen to get pregnant, it was His will, or am I supposed to take the information given to me and go the super safe route. Then I hear the little devil, "You could die tomorrow in a car accident, don't worry about it." You see, throughout all the things we have been thru, I have developed A LOT of faith, hope, trust, and strength. I think I am strong enough to do it, but when I look at Thomas, I can't imagine leaving him here without me.
What are our options? Adoption, maybe, we are both open to it. I am a little nervous about "open" adoptions and how they work, my only real comparison would come from the great reality show Teen Mom and how that adoption works. I think I would love to foster babies with the intent to adopt, but there are a lot of rules that come into play when you deal with the government, for instance, you can't spank your own biological child if you foster. I totally understand the reasoning behind not spanking the foster children, but I don't like that rule. It is not like Thomas gets very many spankings, but he has earned a few. He is pretty tender-hearted and just a raised voice usually works for him. We are lucky he is very obedient.
On to my favorite option..........surrogacy. One of my cousin's is a possible surrogate-to-be for us. I like this idea for a couple of reasons. This would give us a chance to possibly have multiples (twins) and I would love to have more than one more child. I used to dream of having 5 or 6 kids. Both of these options are extremely expensive, so having two babies in one shot saves money too! I have a long-time friend that recently went through this process and she is a real encouragement to me. She has helped guide me thru the process. I have spoken with a fertility doctor that does surrogacy and started pricing things.
As many of you know, my husband has started a lawn business. He is steadily mowing yards and saving that money for our future baby. I am so proud of him and all the hard work he is doing to try to make our dream of expanding our family come true. I would love if you would join me in prayer about this decision and prepare our hearts for whatever the future holds.
The whole reason I brought up Dr. Rowe was because at the end of the get-together, Dr. Rowe asked us to gather around a few people that were about to go on a mission trip so we could pray for them. After praying for them, he walked up to me and placed his hands on my shoulders. He prayed for me, he prayed about this very topic. He knew my heart was heavy for a baby. I never spoke a word about this and I haven't told too many people. I tell some people just because I hate when people ask me about having more babies. I truly long to carry another baby in my womb. When will the longing go away? I love that man, he truly is in tune with Christ. There is something amazing that happens when people pray for you and lay their hands on you, I could feel that he loved me. I kept thinking in my head, if I don't get pregnant, and we end up using surrogacy, Dr. Rowe will have to be the doctor! I finally got all of that off my chest. There is a struggle in my mind post-transplant because I am so grateful and I feel so blessed, so I hate to feel like I am ever griping or not super happy, but I have to be honest and this issue is so difficult for me. Thanks for reading!
This brings us to the elephant in the room that I have been avoiding. YES, I desperately want another baby. Two of the greatest people I know are my brother and sister. I want Thomas to experience having a sibling and the bond that is created. I want him to have someone to play with all the time, I want him to have a little sibling to protect. I want more.
In the back of my head and probably in your thoughts right now, I know I am lucky to have Thomas and if God only wants us to have one, then I will have to accept it soon. I remember when Kelly Higgins brought my family dinner after my transplant, I asked her if she was going to have any more babies? She told me she couldn't have any more, but would love to. I remember thinking to myself that she had such a peace about it and seemed to trust God's plan. Not even a few months later, I saw on Facebook that she was pregnant. My heart filled with joy for her. I want to have that peace inside my soul too, but I am honestly not there yet.
Can I have a baby? Technically, Yes. I am currently being winged off my CellCept because this medication would kill my baby, but my doctor STRESSED that having another baby is super high risk, I could go into rejection, get really sick, lose the baby, have something wrong with the baby, or die. The last one got me. I have done everything in my power not to die. Sometimes, I feel like I have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other taunting me. I wonder if I am supposed to just trust God and if I happen to get pregnant, it was His will, or am I supposed to take the information given to me and go the super safe route. Then I hear the little devil, "You could die tomorrow in a car accident, don't worry about it." You see, throughout all the things we have been thru, I have developed A LOT of faith, hope, trust, and strength. I think I am strong enough to do it, but when I look at Thomas, I can't imagine leaving him here without me.
What are our options? Adoption, maybe, we are both open to it. I am a little nervous about "open" adoptions and how they work, my only real comparison would come from the great reality show Teen Mom and how that adoption works. I think I would love to foster babies with the intent to adopt, but there are a lot of rules that come into play when you deal with the government, for instance, you can't spank your own biological child if you foster. I totally understand the reasoning behind not spanking the foster children, but I don't like that rule. It is not like Thomas gets very many spankings, but he has earned a few. He is pretty tender-hearted and just a raised voice usually works for him. We are lucky he is very obedient.
On to my favorite option..........surrogacy. One of my cousin's is a possible surrogate-to-be for us. I like this idea for a couple of reasons. This would give us a chance to possibly have multiples (twins) and I would love to have more than one more child. I used to dream of having 5 or 6 kids. Both of these options are extremely expensive, so having two babies in one shot saves money too! I have a long-time friend that recently went through this process and she is a real encouragement to me. She has helped guide me thru the process. I have spoken with a fertility doctor that does surrogacy and started pricing things.
As many of you know, my husband has started a lawn business. He is steadily mowing yards and saving that money for our future baby. I am so proud of him and all the hard work he is doing to try to make our dream of expanding our family come true. I would love if you would join me in prayer about this decision and prepare our hearts for whatever the future holds.
The whole reason I brought up Dr. Rowe was because at the end of the get-together, Dr. Rowe asked us to gather around a few people that were about to go on a mission trip so we could pray for them. After praying for them, he walked up to me and placed his hands on my shoulders. He prayed for me, he prayed about this very topic. He knew my heart was heavy for a baby. I never spoke a word about this and I haven't told too many people. I tell some people just because I hate when people ask me about having more babies. I truly long to carry another baby in my womb. When will the longing go away? I love that man, he truly is in tune with Christ. There is something amazing that happens when people pray for you and lay their hands on you, I could feel that he loved me. I kept thinking in my head, if I don't get pregnant, and we end up using surrogacy, Dr. Rowe will have to be the doctor! I finally got all of that off my chest. There is a struggle in my mind post-transplant because I am so grateful and I feel so blessed, so I hate to feel like I am ever griping or not super happy, but I have to be honest and this issue is so difficult for me. Thanks for reading!
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Karina Is All Grown Up!
Karina just left for prom, we took pictures of her in front of the huge tree at my mom's house, just like my sister had taken, I had taken, and my brother had taken. After she left, I cried the whole way home. I love her so much, I feel like I was able to help raise her a little, and she is utterly amazing, given all that she has overcome.
I remember Karina being born at the end of my Junior year of high school. She was such a blessing to our family and I learned so much about the world thru her life. Karina is obviously bi-racial. I used to think Oprah Winfrey was crazy when she talked about people being racist or discriminated against. I guess I lived a pretty protected life and was not exposed to a lot of this. My mom and dad taught us to love others the way Jesus loves us. I mean He made all of us, every race, disability, imperfection, shape, language, etc. He didn't make us all look the same. I have never understood why any race would be so proud of the color of their skin. The color of my skin is something I have absolutely no control over. I did not choose to be white. I wish people were proud of their accomplishments in life. I would love if I never had to check what race I am when I feel out any kind of paperwork, it shouldn't matter, period. I believe that because we keep making it matter, this breeds racism. Why do I need to know how the Hispanics scored on the TAKS test versus the Asian group? Why can't we just say, "All the seventh graders at such and such school scored in the 90%"?
I am on my soap box because when Karina was born, suddenly I had an accelerated education in racism and it hurt, deeply hurt me. I would be out with Karina and people would say, "It is so nice to see people adopting children from THAT race." Huh, are you kidding me? First of all, what if she was adopted, but we had not told her yet, you moron? Secondly, is it really any of your business in the first place? We heard other mothers say, "Get away from the n#$@%r kid!" I have never been so angry before. How could you say that, teach your child that, or be so ignorant? My mother handled this lady before my sister or I had a chance. I just remember being heart-broken. I mean, even if you disagree with inter-racial dating, IT IS NEVER THE CHILD'S FAULT! My heart hurt for the lady's child because she was being raised to be the same way. On a funny note, Karina went thru a stage where every time she saw a black man in public, she would say, "Daddy, Daddy!" It was hilarious to see these guys reaction!
We struggled with how to handle certain things like: doing her hair, what to call her (black/white), intermingling with her other side of the family, etc.. Well, it took a lot of mistakes, but we, I mean Karina finally figured it out. She told us that she is brown. She was so matter of fact about it. She said, "Look at me, my skin is brown." Her father's side of the family is very nice and it has never been awkward, but I wish we saw them more often. If you don't already know, Karina is completely deaf in one ear and partially deaf in the other, but she is awesome at reading lips and handles this with such grace. She is strong, strong like her mother. You see, I could never have done what my sister has done. She is the best single mom I know! She has been kicked out of a rental house because the owners did not agree with a biracial relationship. She has had horrible things said to her from family and close family friends. But, little did they know, Karina is worth so much more than any of those relationships. I, honestly, have never once been ashamed of my niece or my sister. I feel nothing but unconditional love for them both. There is one other statement I have heard more than ten times and it irritates me to no end. "It is okay to be their (other races) friends, but you can't love them." Again, I want to scream. I was taught to love all people, not races of people. And, by the way, I love my friends, so I don't know how to not love my friends. I could not have stood up to all the haters, like my sister has. I could not have raised a kid by myself, it is hard with two parents.
All of this soap box to share pics with you of my beautiful, kind, loving niece, Karina.
Karina and her boyfriend Daniel
Karina and Thomas
Karina with MeeMee and Pawpaw
Karina and my sister
Karina and silly Daniel
Please live your life loving people for who they are on the inside, and remember that no one gets to choose their race!
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Sometimes It Just Hits Me
Sometimes, when I least expect it, it hits me, it takes my breath away. I stop and think, "I have someone else's liver inside of me!" It still seems surreal some days that this is even possible. Who were the brave people who tried this for the first time? I want to thank them so much. I have yet to hear from my donor's family, but I have not lost hope. I keep praying that they will want to meet me and I can personally thank them. I think about him all the time and I know that his family must miss him so much.
I was blessed to spend this past weekend with two of my college roommates for Becca's Bachelorette weekend. It was so refreshing to spend time with them and two new friends I made. Becca's matron of honor and I really hit it off and I totally relate to her in almost every way, we are both even nurses. Her sis-in-law was very inspiring and so genuine that I felt like I hung on her every word. I also just ordered a book she recommended and I can't wait to start reading it. It was a time of reflection and thinking about my college years. I kept thinking about the question of, "am I living the life I thought I would be living?" This leads to me thinking about my life story. Of course, I never in a million years dreamed I would ever bury babies, be diagnosed with cancer, have a transplant, or even be blessed enough to be called, Mom! This weekend was great to be around other wives that LOVE their husbands, are honest about their quirks and annoying habits, and all of our talk centered around our faith in Christ.
My friend Katy, aka Pollyanna, has had 3 babies in 3.5 years! Yes, she still has a six pack and her baby is only 3 months old, but I almost forgot why I love her so much. She is such a strong Christian, yet never judgemental or condescending, she is able to relate to everyone. I was able to spend the night with her parents on Friday night and I felt giddy like a little kid the night before Christmas. I was able to pick fresh fruit from their garden and eat it, I learned broccoli cooking tricks from Mrs. Jan, I had in depth conversations with Mrs. Jan too, and I felt at home. This family is such a fine example of what I desire my family to be like. I honestly think that if I had my car break down in the middle of the night anywhere remotely close to Baton Rouge, this family would pick me up, take me home, feed me, and help me get my car fixed. They are just good people. Not to mention that Mr. Bobby fixed me a "K" and a teddy bear pancake Saturday morning. I love the fact that all of their children are into health, exercising, and Jesus.
I found out that I was the only one out of all five girls that doesn't get car sick! I rode in the back of my van for the first time. I know what you are thinking, we looked so cool pulling up in a minivan on our big bachelorette weekend! I am finally to the point that I can talk about my babies without crying or making people feel uncomfortable. I still kept thinking about little things and why I cared about certain things that none of my other friends seem to think about, they all seem a little more laid back. I used to be so carefree and spontaneous. I am so serious about my time with Thomas, I never really give myself a break, but I guess being worried that you might actually die changes how you view things and for sure your priorities. I just want to make sure that these are good changes. Once you have a bad MRI, all MRIs after that are super stressful. I honestly used to go in with the attitude that everything would be okay, but now, I stress out until I hear the results. I am constantly thinking about the environments I am in, what I will be exposed to, what type of food will be available, etc.. I hate being high-maintenance, but it is so much better than the alternative. I know I am bouncing all around here, but it has been so long that I have blogged, I have a lot to say.
I am super excited about Becca's Wedding this summer! I will get to spend more time with the bridal party and after the wedding, I get to go see the Tan's! I have missed my bud Cherie so much. She even has a new baby boy that I get to meet for the first time. They live in Florida, close to where the wedding is, so we are staying a couple of nights with them! When I was face-booking her about our plans, I read the previous message she had sent me in January of 2012, just one month before my transplant. It was so nice and comforting. The last sentence said," You will see Thomas graduate high school and college, see him get married, and see your grandchildren grow!" Those words mean so much to me, I still get teary reading them. I am such a blessed person when it comes to friendships!
Something that I think about that other people probably don't is when Thomas gets hurt and cries out for me saying "I want my momma," it makes my heart swell with joy, but I always think about my donor and how he once cried for his mother the same way. I bet she longs to speak to him or for him to call her for help or advice.I find myself thinking about her often and how hard losing her son must be. I just keep praying that I will be able to meet her someday.
I am going to say it again, I really hope to do a better job blogging more often! Thanks for reading.
I was blessed to spend this past weekend with two of my college roommates for Becca's Bachelorette weekend. It was so refreshing to spend time with them and two new friends I made. Becca's matron of honor and I really hit it off and I totally relate to her in almost every way, we are both even nurses. Her sis-in-law was very inspiring and so genuine that I felt like I hung on her every word. I also just ordered a book she recommended and I can't wait to start reading it. It was a time of reflection and thinking about my college years. I kept thinking about the question of, "am I living the life I thought I would be living?" This leads to me thinking about my life story. Of course, I never in a million years dreamed I would ever bury babies, be diagnosed with cancer, have a transplant, or even be blessed enough to be called, Mom! This weekend was great to be around other wives that LOVE their husbands, are honest about their quirks and annoying habits, and all of our talk centered around our faith in Christ.
My friend Katy, aka Pollyanna, has had 3 babies in 3.5 years! Yes, she still has a six pack and her baby is only 3 months old, but I almost forgot why I love her so much. She is such a strong Christian, yet never judgemental or condescending, she is able to relate to everyone. I was able to spend the night with her parents on Friday night and I felt giddy like a little kid the night before Christmas. I was able to pick fresh fruit from their garden and eat it, I learned broccoli cooking tricks from Mrs. Jan, I had in depth conversations with Mrs. Jan too, and I felt at home. This family is such a fine example of what I desire my family to be like. I honestly think that if I had my car break down in the middle of the night anywhere remotely close to Baton Rouge, this family would pick me up, take me home, feed me, and help me get my car fixed. They are just good people. Not to mention that Mr. Bobby fixed me a "K" and a teddy bear pancake Saturday morning. I love the fact that all of their children are into health, exercising, and Jesus.
I found out that I was the only one out of all five girls that doesn't get car sick! I rode in the back of my van for the first time. I know what you are thinking, we looked so cool pulling up in a minivan on our big bachelorette weekend! I am finally to the point that I can talk about my babies without crying or making people feel uncomfortable. I still kept thinking about little things and why I cared about certain things that none of my other friends seem to think about, they all seem a little more laid back. I used to be so carefree and spontaneous. I am so serious about my time with Thomas, I never really give myself a break, but I guess being worried that you might actually die changes how you view things and for sure your priorities. I just want to make sure that these are good changes. Once you have a bad MRI, all MRIs after that are super stressful. I honestly used to go in with the attitude that everything would be okay, but now, I stress out until I hear the results. I am constantly thinking about the environments I am in, what I will be exposed to, what type of food will be available, etc.. I hate being high-maintenance, but it is so much better than the alternative. I know I am bouncing all around here, but it has been so long that I have blogged, I have a lot to say.
I am super excited about Becca's Wedding this summer! I will get to spend more time with the bridal party and after the wedding, I get to go see the Tan's! I have missed my bud Cherie so much. She even has a new baby boy that I get to meet for the first time. They live in Florida, close to where the wedding is, so we are staying a couple of nights with them! When I was face-booking her about our plans, I read the previous message she had sent me in January of 2012, just one month before my transplant. It was so nice and comforting. The last sentence said," You will see Thomas graduate high school and college, see him get married, and see your grandchildren grow!" Those words mean so much to me, I still get teary reading them. I am such a blessed person when it comes to friendships!
Something that I think about that other people probably don't is when Thomas gets hurt and cries out for me saying "I want my momma," it makes my heart swell with joy, but I always think about my donor and how he once cried for his mother the same way. I bet she longs to speak to him or for him to call her for help or advice.I find myself thinking about her often and how hard losing her son must be. I just keep praying that I will be able to meet her someday.
I am going to say it again, I really hope to do a better job blogging more often! Thanks for reading.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
One Year Liversary
I cannot believe it has been one year! I am so thankful, joyful, humbled, and the list goes on. I couldn't help but think about my donor's family today too. This has to be a very hard time for them. We both have an anniversary today, but they are so very different. I still have not heard anything from his family, but I'm going to keep trying to make contact with them. It is so important to me to personally thank them.
This year has been wonderful. Sometimes I get emotional just sitting in the car driving around doing errands with Thomas. I will hear him say a new phrase, or he asks to hold my hand, or the absolute best thing in the world is when he tells me he loves me out of the clear blue sky! I cry thinking about how blessed I am to hear these things and watch him grow. Having a child changes you in every way. You instantly become selfless, you no longer need adequate amounts of sleep, and you never stop thinking about them. I pray for the mother of my donor because she must miss her son so much. I kinda went through a spell of being sad after a lovely lady I went to church with had a liver transplant performed by my doctors as well. Unfortunately, after months of fighting, she lost her fight. I guess I had survivor's guilt or something. I would cry every time I thought of her. Why did I do so well after transplant? Why couldn't she live too? While this makes me sad, it is also a great reminder of how my life could have been so different. I feel like I can't say thank you enough to God, my medical team, my family, my church, and especially my donor.
I watched this special last night on tv about Robin Roberts and her transplant. I could relate to her story in so many ways. She talked about wanting her mom so bad, but her mom had recently passed away. I realized how lucky I am to still have my mom. She knows how to make me feel better in every situation, and she plays with my hair better than anyone else! Robin talked about 30 days in like a solitary room to protect her from germs. I reflected on the 30 days I could not hold Thomas. Not being able to hold him was the absolute worst part of this whole ordeal. I had worried about the pain before the surgery, but there is no medicine to take away heart pain. Ultimately, of course I know that not holding him was a small sacrifice compared to all the other outcomes.
I feel like every relationship in my life is different, on a higher level now. You start to treat people different and look at them with new eyes when you thought you might have only a small amount of time left with them. I still have a list of things I need to work on, but everyday I get a little closer to my goals. I hope to make my donor proud each day, but more importantly, I hope to honor Christ each and every day of my life!
This year has been wonderful. Sometimes I get emotional just sitting in the car driving around doing errands with Thomas. I will hear him say a new phrase, or he asks to hold my hand, or the absolute best thing in the world is when he tells me he loves me out of the clear blue sky! I cry thinking about how blessed I am to hear these things and watch him grow. Having a child changes you in every way. You instantly become selfless, you no longer need adequate amounts of sleep, and you never stop thinking about them. I pray for the mother of my donor because she must miss her son so much. I kinda went through a spell of being sad after a lovely lady I went to church with had a liver transplant performed by my doctors as well. Unfortunately, after months of fighting, she lost her fight. I guess I had survivor's guilt or something. I would cry every time I thought of her. Why did I do so well after transplant? Why couldn't she live too? While this makes me sad, it is also a great reminder of how my life could have been so different. I feel like I can't say thank you enough to God, my medical team, my family, my church, and especially my donor.
I watched this special last night on tv about Robin Roberts and her transplant. I could relate to her story in so many ways. She talked about wanting her mom so bad, but her mom had recently passed away. I realized how lucky I am to still have my mom. She knows how to make me feel better in every situation, and she plays with my hair better than anyone else! Robin talked about 30 days in like a solitary room to protect her from germs. I reflected on the 30 days I could not hold Thomas. Not being able to hold him was the absolute worst part of this whole ordeal. I had worried about the pain before the surgery, but there is no medicine to take away heart pain. Ultimately, of course I know that not holding him was a small sacrifice compared to all the other outcomes.
I feel like every relationship in my life is different, on a higher level now. You start to treat people different and look at them with new eyes when you thought you might have only a small amount of time left with them. I still have a list of things I need to work on, but everyday I get a little closer to my goals. I hope to make my donor proud each day, but more importantly, I hope to honor Christ each and every day of my life!
Monday, October 1, 2012
What a Difference a Year Makes
We just celebrated Thomas' second Birthday and I have to tell you that this year, everything was so different for me. Last year, I had in the back of my mind that this might be my only party with my precious son. This year, I couldn't contain my excitement and joy when planning his party. I love seeing all my friends with and without children gathering to celebrate the best year ever. His first Birthday party had a barn/farm animal theme and I had photo invitations made at JCPenny's,and I HAD to have hay for the photo shoot. I went to a local feed store and asked to buy a couple of bales of hay. The owner said she didn't know me and apparently there was some sort of hay shortage last year due to the drought. I had no idea. I was not prepared for this lady to refuse me hay, so I just lost it. I had this picture in my head and I had to make it happen. I was honest and had told her I wanted it for my son's B-day photo shoot. She was caught off guard and asked my why I was so upset and I told her my dilemma. She ended up selling me the hay and I ended up taking it right back to her after the photo shoot. So, I guess I ended up "renting" the hay. At his party, he had to be in my sight or next to me the whole time last year. I was in such a state of fear and the unknown, what would my future hold?
This year, completely different for me. I still went all out with the theme of airplanes, but I was relaxed, I trusted that Thomas was OK running around like a crazy man and smiling all night. I visited with friends and family and just totally enjoyed it, enjoyed my son, enjoyed my life, enjoyed the sounds, the smells, the mistakes, the things I forgot, I soaked it all in. At the end of the night, as I was laying on the floor exhausted while wonderful friends (the Montoya's and Smiths) were probably sweeping floors and moving tables back into the appropriate Sunday School classrooms, my sweet, sweet son came and layed directly on top of me, kissed my lips, snuggled me, giggled, and then went back to playing with his friends. I had tears, tears of mommy bliss, this is what makes all the trials, training, and frustrations of rearing kids worth it. I would go through a hundred temper tantrums just for another show of love like that. There is no greater blessing than that of a child, any way you come to acquire a child, they are such a blessing. These feelings always make me reflect on two things: Did I do this to my parents, did I just love on them for no reason, did I look at them the way Thomas looks at me? Did I make them feel the way Thomas makes me feel?, and I always think about how I view other people. I get convicted quite often. Do I judge someone that gets pregnant out of wedlock, or someone that isn't financially ready for a baby that gets pregnant anyway? To be honest, I often come back to my beautiful niece Karina. I mean, I can't imagine my life, or anyone in my familys' life without her. My sister wasn't married and Karina was half African American, but she was ours and she was perfect. I remember how her birth healed so many wounds. So many things had been said that were so ugly and nasty to my sister, but I was there, I saw the way my sister looked at her baby, it was all well worth it. I learned something important at a young age, IT IS NEVER THE BABY'S FAULT. I never understand how people can not want a baby in this world. They are all such gifts. All the anger and hatefulness that had plagued my sister's pregnancy was suddenly gone without a trace, once people layed their eyes on Karina.
One other thing I have learned since having a child. As most of you know, I used to be a teacher. So many times during parent/teacher conferences, a parent would ask me, "Do you have children?" This would always infuriate me and I would say something stupid about my degree, blah, blah, blah. Well, I was reflecting the other day and realized what those parents meant, I understand now. They were really saying, "This is my baby, the thing I love more than anything, I would do anything for him, are you doing everything for him, are you treating him the way I would treat him? It is a love like no other. I posted on my Facebook account that loving Thomas has brought me closer to God, He had to love me so much to let His only son, Jesus die on the cross for me. It is so humbling. I kinda giggle now that I have friends that are expecting for the first time and they talk about how their life isn't going to change that much after the baby arrives. I laugh at myself because I used to be that person. But, there is no way your life won't change because you learn what love really is, there is no way anyone can explain this love to you, it is simply amazing.
Thanks for reading! Still no word from my donor family as of yet, but I'm still praying and hoping that they contact me. I have a strong desire to meet them. I will keep you posted.
This year, completely different for me. I still went all out with the theme of airplanes, but I was relaxed, I trusted that Thomas was OK running around like a crazy man and smiling all night. I visited with friends and family and just totally enjoyed it, enjoyed my son, enjoyed my life, enjoyed the sounds, the smells, the mistakes, the things I forgot, I soaked it all in. At the end of the night, as I was laying on the floor exhausted while wonderful friends (the Montoya's and Smiths) were probably sweeping floors and moving tables back into the appropriate Sunday School classrooms, my sweet, sweet son came and layed directly on top of me, kissed my lips, snuggled me, giggled, and then went back to playing with his friends. I had tears, tears of mommy bliss, this is what makes all the trials, training, and frustrations of rearing kids worth it. I would go through a hundred temper tantrums just for another show of love like that. There is no greater blessing than that of a child, any way you come to acquire a child, they are such a blessing. These feelings always make me reflect on two things: Did I do this to my parents, did I just love on them for no reason, did I look at them the way Thomas looks at me? Did I make them feel the way Thomas makes me feel?, and I always think about how I view other people. I get convicted quite often. Do I judge someone that gets pregnant out of wedlock, or someone that isn't financially ready for a baby that gets pregnant anyway? To be honest, I often come back to my beautiful niece Karina. I mean, I can't imagine my life, or anyone in my familys' life without her. My sister wasn't married and Karina was half African American, but she was ours and she was perfect. I remember how her birth healed so many wounds. So many things had been said that were so ugly and nasty to my sister, but I was there, I saw the way my sister looked at her baby, it was all well worth it. I learned something important at a young age, IT IS NEVER THE BABY'S FAULT. I never understand how people can not want a baby in this world. They are all such gifts. All the anger and hatefulness that had plagued my sister's pregnancy was suddenly gone without a trace, once people layed their eyes on Karina.
One other thing I have learned since having a child. As most of you know, I used to be a teacher. So many times during parent/teacher conferences, a parent would ask me, "Do you have children?" This would always infuriate me and I would say something stupid about my degree, blah, blah, blah. Well, I was reflecting the other day and realized what those parents meant, I understand now. They were really saying, "This is my baby, the thing I love more than anything, I would do anything for him, are you doing everything for him, are you treating him the way I would treat him? It is a love like no other. I posted on my Facebook account that loving Thomas has brought me closer to God, He had to love me so much to let His only son, Jesus die on the cross for me. It is so humbling. I kinda giggle now that I have friends that are expecting for the first time and they talk about how their life isn't going to change that much after the baby arrives. I laugh at myself because I used to be that person. But, there is no way your life won't change because you learn what love really is, there is no way anyone can explain this love to you, it is simply amazing.
Thanks for reading! Still no word from my donor family as of yet, but I'm still praying and hoping that they contact me. I have a strong desire to meet them. I will keep you posted.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Super Six Months and Donor Letter
I can hardly believe it has already been six months since my transplant. I cannot even begin to tell you how happy I am and how wonderful I feel. I went to my six month check-up and everything looks wonderful. I am still struggling with blood sugars some time, but I have an Endocrinologist I am working with in Clear Lake for this issue. I figure both my parents are diabetics, three of my medications cause a spike in blood sugar, and I am still overweight. I am struggling with finding time to exercise all the time now that I am back at work full-time, but I haven't given up. I just look at Thomas sometimes, and I would rather do stuff with and for him, but I know that the best thing I can do for him is get in the best shape possible. I am down to just the following medications: Prograf, Cellcept, Magnesium, Calcium with Vit D, Protonix, Ursodiol, Metformin, and Bactrim! I feel like life is getting back to normal, I occasionally wish for a moment where I don't have to think about so many things, like what type of food will be served at a party, what way will the food be served, will it be a lot of people in a cramped space, what kind of water will we be swimming in, do you have well water, etc.. It can get overwhelming sometimes! I am so very thankful for the past six months that my precious donor has allowed me to live to the fullest. Below is what my letter said, minus a few really personal things, I hand wrote the letter sent to the family as well as enclosed pictures of me with my son and family. Please keep praying that they will want to meet me some day.
To the Most Wonderful Family I Have Never Met,
I have to admit, this is one of the hardest letters to write. Why? Because it is the most important letter I have ever written. I don't know words good enough, honorable enough, thankful enough to describe how I feel about your son and your family. What do I say to the most selfless, loving people I have never met, but I feel so bonded to. I received your son's liver and on February 23rd, my life forever changed. I received the greatest gift anyone has ever given me besides God's gift of Jesus Christ. While the phone call I received that night made me rejoice and get on my knees thanking God for this miracle, I realized at that moment that your family just received the most devastating news because you lost someone so special to you. I wish I knew his name, his interests, what he looked like, and I really wish I knew everything about him. I imagine him as a son, brother, uncle, nephew, friend, grandson, boyfriend, cousin, and I know he played so many roles in all the lives he touched.
I figure that you want to know a little about me too. I was born and raised in Pasadena, Tx. I have been married to my husband Paul for the last four and a half years. I have an older sister, Patricia, and a younger brother, John. I am a cousin to many wonderful people that helped me so much during my journey, I am an aunt, a daughter, a granddaughter, a niece, but my most prized role is that of being a mother to my son Thomas John Bennett. He is 22 months old at this time and I am also a mother to my twin angels in heaven.
When I found out my Autoimmune Hepatitis had turned into Cirrhosis and then liver cancer, I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I had such strong faith, I believed God would heal me with a miracle, I just didn't realize my miracle would happen through your son. He is my miracle. Every second after my diagnosis suddenly became so important to me. I wanted to leave such an impression on my son. I wanted to make lasting memories with him, but mostly- I wanted to LIVE. The only reason I have a future to raise my son is because of your son. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Those two words just don't seem like enough. I wish I could hug you and meet you and show you just how grateful I am.
I think of your son every single day. I live my life different now. I desire to honor him and his precious life. I just can't thank you enough. This whole experience has changed every aspect of my life because I am now a better nurse when I go to my job, I honor your son. I am a much better wife and mother- I want to be more selfless like your family. I eat better, I exercise regularly now, I want you to know that I am taking the best possible care of my liver that I can. I have followed my doctor's orders to the tee!
I would love to meet you, if you would want to meet me and my family. I would love to know his name, to be able to speak it, to be able to tell others about him and call him by name. I am enclosing pictures of my family and I hope you are at a point in your grieving where we can have contact.
I often think about if I was put in your shoes, would I be able to make the same decision if Thomas was the one that would be the donor. I know I now would make the same decision you did because I know firsthand how precious a gift an organ is. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Love,
Katrinia
While typing this up, I realized there are places I could have improved the letter, but I am happy I completed it and sent it off. I am currently thinking about a way to honor him every year on February 23. I never want him to be forgotten.
A few things that have happened lately that make me smile. Today, as I was rocking Thomas to sleep for his nap, I kissed him on the face after I thought he was asleep. He opened his eyes and said,"One more Momma," this melted my heart, tears started flowing. I am so happy to have moments like this. I didn't just give him one more kiss, but several more kisses.
I am sick of all the election stuff going on right now, because I think what I have realized is that change really does start with myself. I want to stand up for what I know is right. I am tired of hearing filth every where I turn. What has happened to modesty? What has happened to people feeling ashamed of bad behavior? Why is it OK for people to make excuses for everything they do wrong? Why are people so mean? I feel like I can make a change by making my voice heard more often, but I don't want to hurt others in the process. I hope I get better and stronger every day.
On a total different note, I watched the series New York Med for the past couple of months, and if any of you were able to watch this show, I loved it. It was so touching. I cried every time I watched it. They showed a liver transplant and everything the man that received the liver felt, struck a cord with me. His son told the doctor before his dad was wheeled off, "Please take care of my hero." I just balled.
Thomas' Birthday is coming up on September 30th, my baby will be two. It has flown by, but every second of being his Mommy has been wonderful. He taught me all about a love I never knew before.
Until next time.
To the Most Wonderful Family I Have Never Met,
I have to admit, this is one of the hardest letters to write. Why? Because it is the most important letter I have ever written. I don't know words good enough, honorable enough, thankful enough to describe how I feel about your son and your family. What do I say to the most selfless, loving people I have never met, but I feel so bonded to. I received your son's liver and on February 23rd, my life forever changed. I received the greatest gift anyone has ever given me besides God's gift of Jesus Christ. While the phone call I received that night made me rejoice and get on my knees thanking God for this miracle, I realized at that moment that your family just received the most devastating news because you lost someone so special to you. I wish I knew his name, his interests, what he looked like, and I really wish I knew everything about him. I imagine him as a son, brother, uncle, nephew, friend, grandson, boyfriend, cousin, and I know he played so many roles in all the lives he touched.
I figure that you want to know a little about me too. I was born and raised in Pasadena, Tx. I have been married to my husband Paul for the last four and a half years. I have an older sister, Patricia, and a younger brother, John. I am a cousin to many wonderful people that helped me so much during my journey, I am an aunt, a daughter, a granddaughter, a niece, but my most prized role is that of being a mother to my son Thomas John Bennett. He is 22 months old at this time and I am also a mother to my twin angels in heaven.
When I found out my Autoimmune Hepatitis had turned into Cirrhosis and then liver cancer, I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I had such strong faith, I believed God would heal me with a miracle, I just didn't realize my miracle would happen through your son. He is my miracle. Every second after my diagnosis suddenly became so important to me. I wanted to leave such an impression on my son. I wanted to make lasting memories with him, but mostly- I wanted to LIVE. The only reason I have a future to raise my son is because of your son. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Those two words just don't seem like enough. I wish I could hug you and meet you and show you just how grateful I am.
I think of your son every single day. I live my life different now. I desire to honor him and his precious life. I just can't thank you enough. This whole experience has changed every aspect of my life because I am now a better nurse when I go to my job, I honor your son. I am a much better wife and mother- I want to be more selfless like your family. I eat better, I exercise regularly now, I want you to know that I am taking the best possible care of my liver that I can. I have followed my doctor's orders to the tee!
I would love to meet you, if you would want to meet me and my family. I would love to know his name, to be able to speak it, to be able to tell others about him and call him by name. I am enclosing pictures of my family and I hope you are at a point in your grieving where we can have contact.
I often think about if I was put in your shoes, would I be able to make the same decision if Thomas was the one that would be the donor. I know I now would make the same decision you did because I know firsthand how precious a gift an organ is. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Love,
Katrinia
While typing this up, I realized there are places I could have improved the letter, but I am happy I completed it and sent it off. I am currently thinking about a way to honor him every year on February 23. I never want him to be forgotten.
A few things that have happened lately that make me smile. Today, as I was rocking Thomas to sleep for his nap, I kissed him on the face after I thought he was asleep. He opened his eyes and said,"One more Momma," this melted my heart, tears started flowing. I am so happy to have moments like this. I didn't just give him one more kiss, but several more kisses.
I am sick of all the election stuff going on right now, because I think what I have realized is that change really does start with myself. I want to stand up for what I know is right. I am tired of hearing filth every where I turn. What has happened to modesty? What has happened to people feeling ashamed of bad behavior? Why is it OK for people to make excuses for everything they do wrong? Why are people so mean? I feel like I can make a change by making my voice heard more often, but I don't want to hurt others in the process. I hope I get better and stronger every day.
On a total different note, I watched the series New York Med for the past couple of months, and if any of you were able to watch this show, I loved it. It was so touching. I cried every time I watched it. They showed a liver transplant and everything the man that received the liver felt, struck a cord with me. His son told the doctor before his dad was wheeled off, "Please take care of my hero." I just balled.
Thomas' Birthday is coming up on September 30th, my baby will be two. It has flown by, but every second of being his Mommy has been wonderful. He taught me all about a love I never knew before.
Until next time.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Something Old
So, I know it has been too long, sorry for the hiatus. I need to finish telling you about the car situation. The weekend we were going camping (Memorial Weekend), after I had loaded the back of the van perfectly, we left bright and early Saturday morning and wouldn't you know it, just a few blocks after filling the van up with gas, all four brake light warning indicators thingies on the dashboard light up. After my last experience with the brakes going out in the FJ, I was not taking any chances. We turned around, threw everything in the back of the truck hastily, and then filled the truck up with gas and finally headed out. On Tuesday morning after Memorial Day, we took the van to a Chrysler dealership to get serviced because after all, I had bought a WARRANTY! So, they fix several problems on the van because each time we take it in, the deductible is the same no matter how many things they fix according to my WARRANTY PAPERWORK I had from my signing day at the dealership. So, they call on Friday that everything is fixed and it is going to be $800 ish because we don't have a warranty. I bring my paperwork and show them, so more investigation is needed. We call the dealership and leave messages, talk to the wrong people, and wait. We wait, wait, wait for a week and a half. I felt like they were holding my van hostage. The dealership "forgot" to file the proper paperwork for my warranty, so indeed I did not have one, even though I really did pay for one. Okay, so now they were going to file the papers and we would have the warranty and then we could finally go pick up the van. I WISH! The warranty place confirmed that the dealership did file the paperwork, but had not sent the money and it usually takes 60-90 days for the dealership to send in the $$$ because they send in a bunch of them at once, so we would have to wait that long for them to pay. And, this warranty was different, so we would always have to pay up front and be reimbursed (only $200 out of the $800 was going to be reimbursed). ENOUGH ALREADY, we cancelled the warranty, the dealership came down $100 on our repairs and we finally rescued the van after a few weeks!
But, in all the this, the nicest thing happened to us. A wonderful lady and friend I work with loaned us her extra car. Let me tell you how sweet she and her husband are. I was at work with her and her husband drove the car to our job. They live in Brookshire, which is about an hour away. I had never even met this wonderful man and it touched my heart that someone would go that far out of the way for me. It was such a blessing to be able to continue my normal routine with Thomas and work. Thank you so much Cindy!
Now, on to the old thing I found. I found my BUCKET LIST from before I was even married. I wish I had dated it, but I know it was before I married Paul. Here is the list:
1. Kiss my love on top of the Empire State Building
2. Do travel nursing for one year.
3. Go back to Africa for medical missions
4. Go to Hawaii.
5. Swim with the sharks
6. Sky Dive
7. Learn to ski
8. Adopt a family of orphans
9. Provide Christmas for a needy family
10. Stop caring what other people think especially strangers
11. Pay for Karina's college
12. Pay for Timmy's college
13. Complete a triathlon post transplant
14. Ride a horse bareback
15. Go to Australia
16. Keep in touch with old friends (Thank you Facebook)
17. Save someone's life
18. Lasik eye surgery
19. Get a tattoo
20. Start a research organization for Autoimmune Hepatitis
21. Thank Jesus daily for giving me another day
22. Go to Paris
23. Go back to Honduras
24. Catch a shark deep sea fishing
25. Go to a World Series Game.
Those were the things I wanted to do, only a few have changed. I can no longer get a tattoo, it is part of my post-transplant rules, they also strongly discourage out of country traveling, but for the most part, I would still love to do these things. I would add to the list: Meet my donor's family, be a Christ-like role model to my children, and to be a blessing to all the people I meet. Life is good, no, life is great! I hope to be back soon blogging more often!
I go weekly or sometimes every two weeks for labs. Everything is looking great so far and I feel fabulous.
But, in all the this, the nicest thing happened to us. A wonderful lady and friend I work with loaned us her extra car. Let me tell you how sweet she and her husband are. I was at work with her and her husband drove the car to our job. They live in Brookshire, which is about an hour away. I had never even met this wonderful man and it touched my heart that someone would go that far out of the way for me. It was such a blessing to be able to continue my normal routine with Thomas and work. Thank you so much Cindy!
Now, on to the old thing I found. I found my BUCKET LIST from before I was even married. I wish I had dated it, but I know it was before I married Paul. Here is the list:
1. Kiss my love on top of the Empire State Building
2. Do travel nursing for one year.
3. Go back to Africa for medical missions
4. Go to Hawaii.
5. Swim with the sharks
6. Sky Dive
7. Learn to ski
8. Adopt a family of orphans
9. Provide Christmas for a needy family
10. Stop caring what other people think especially strangers
11. Pay for Karina's college
12. Pay for Timmy's college
13. Complete a triathlon post transplant
14. Ride a horse bareback
15. Go to Australia
16. Keep in touch with old friends (Thank you Facebook)
17. Save someone's life
18. Lasik eye surgery
19. Get a tattoo
20. Start a research organization for Autoimmune Hepatitis
21. Thank Jesus daily for giving me another day
22. Go to Paris
23. Go back to Honduras
24. Catch a shark deep sea fishing
25. Go to a World Series Game.
Those were the things I wanted to do, only a few have changed. I can no longer get a tattoo, it is part of my post-transplant rules, they also strongly discourage out of country traveling, but for the most part, I would still love to do these things. I would add to the list: Meet my donor's family, be a Christ-like role model to my children, and to be a blessing to all the people I meet. Life is good, no, life is great! I hope to be back soon blogging more often!
I go weekly or sometimes every two weeks for labs. Everything is looking great so far and I feel fabulous.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Let's Play Catch-Up
I can't believe I didn't blog at all in the month of May. So much has happened. The last time I blogged was on Paul's Birthday, which ended up being a lot of fun. We had homemade chilli for dinner and a big cookie cake for the birthday festivities. Thomas loves the Birthday song and he had fun hanging out with his cousins Hannah and Mason. The next morning I went to the Endocrinologist and guess what???? No more insulin for this chica! I switched to Metformin only the following Wednesday, praise the Lord!
Doesn't she look beautiful and happy! I love her!
So, the next big thing that happened was my cousin Karen had a birthday celebration. Her actual bday is May 9th, but we had a party on May 6th at her sister Deborah's house. I made Karen a "recreation" of a cake I had made for her when we were in elementary school when she had the chicken pox. I decorated it with Red Hots, just like the good ole days. I can remember being so excited to give her this cake when we were little, I love that we grew-up across the street from one another, that is just so cool. Anyways, her mom made the real cake which is a made-from-scratch chocolate sheet cake. I am serious when people come to birthday parties in our family based on the fact that Kay will be making this delicious dessert. I still get a little emotional when I look at Karen, I just think she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, especially since I know her inside out. She has lived her entire life helping others and she is leaving such a legacy. On Wednesday, we celebrated her real birthday at our special place, Jimmy Changas. We had a blast and this time I brought an ice cream cake that we shared with the wait staff.
This shot was taken at Karen's First Bday Celebration. I Love this kid more than I knew was possible.
Thomas loves the green sauce! Not a fun diaper later that night!
So, the next day was my appt with my cardiologist. After a few tests, I found out that my heart is HALF the size it was before transplant. I didn't even know it was so enlarged. And, all my lung pressures were back to normal, so it was a happy appt and I left with a sense of thankfulness! I left there and went to a new Bible Study I was attending with women of all different ages at my church. It was such a great time and I made new friends and spent time with old friends. We laughed a lot about growing-up, marriage, kids, funny church moments, and we really bonded. I love my church so much.
On May 12, Thomas and I went to Noah and Charlee's bday celebration. We only stayed a few minutes because I suddenly noticed a rash all on Thomas' feet, hands and mouth. You guessed it, he had hand, foot, mouth virus. So, no church for me on Mother's Day, but really, on Mother's Day I loved being his momma and taking care of him when he was sick. Mother's Day at church is still hard for me, I am always afraid they will ask mom's to keep standing if they have 1 child, 2 children, 3 children, and so on because I have seen this before. What would I do? I can't help but think about my precious boys in heaven on Mother's Day. I wonder how big they would be and what their little personalities would be like. I look forward to our reunion some day. I am so glad I know where I will spend my eternity.
For two hours on Mother's Day, Paul and my dad watched Thomas while Karen, Deborah, and I hosted our first annual Mother's Day Tea at my house. We had a blast. I stole the idea from my friend Becca, who threw the coolest tea party themed birthday for her daughter. We didn't allow any of our mothers to make or bring anything. We enjoyed great snacks, tea, and good times sharing about all of our childhoods and spending time thanking our moms and aunts for making us the women we are today. We made two crafts and a fan. We plan on doing this more often because girl time is a lot of fun.
This is one of the crazy shots from our tea, we had a really special time together! I love all these women!
So, the next big thing was my doctor's appt on May 17th, I did my usual labs, saw my Dr. O'Mahony, cried to her tears of utter thankfulness. I thanked her for making such a sacrifice for me, she gives up so much to do her job. I thanked her for all the wonderful staff and the excellent care I have received through this whole journey, I thanked her for always asking about Thomas, she remembers I am a mom and she explained to me why I am still on high doses of immunosuppressants. She said I was YOUNG and HEALTHY, so my immune system tries harder to reject my liver than an older person, so they would have to wing me down slowly. I have not been described as healthy in so long, it felt good to hear. That afternoon, I had a CT scan and two MRIs. I haven't heard anything about those, so no news is good news these days. At this appt, I received my BACK TO WORK papers and I went to turn those in and check all my passwords at work to make sure I hadn't been kicked out of the system. I had lunch with my good friend Kelly Brautigam in between all of this craziness and she made me laugh so much. That evening, I rushed to my women's Bible Study for our final night together (it was only four weeks). After the Bible Study, I rushed home to my baby and just held him and praised God for all the good things happening.
After being so happy, a little tinge of sadness started setting-in. I truly love my job, but I love taking care of Thomas full-time even more. I realized that May 23 was going to be bitter sweet. I love my job and the people I work with, but three solid months of Thomas Time was amazing. He has started peeing in the potty and we have a rhythm that I loved. I love snuggling with my baby right after he wakes up, it is the best feeling ever.
The next day was my last MOPS meeting, so sad, but excited about next year's theme PLUNGE. I love hanging out with these girls. This was also Thomas' last day of Mother's Day Out for the year :( He loves his "school" so much, but we are looking forward to next year. That evening, Paul's parents came into town and we celebrated their anniversary, Mother's Day, and Jerry's Birthday. We went to dinner at Cheddar's and then everyone came over for cake and we played RACKO. It was a fun time with all of Paul's family.
As you can see, we had three cakes to celebrate all the different events.
May 19th was a super busy day. Karina turned 17, where has all the time gone? Thomas and I went to her house for breakfast and gave her gift to her. Then, we went to Jackson's Pirate Bday party, then we sprinted to Karina's lunch bday celebration. We had to have a lunch celebration because Karina was going to PROM the evening of her birthday. I can't believe how grown-up she is and how beautiful she is. Below is a pic of her and Daniel (he is her boyfriend and I really really like him).
Later on in the evening, Paul and I went to see The Avengers, while Thomas got a little more spoiled by his Aunt Trishy and Mimi. The movie was really good and it was nice to spend a little alone time with my main man.
The next big thing that happened was MAY 23, I did it, I went back to work. It felt great to see everyone, catch up on all my emails, my computer work and nursing updates, and to be back in my element. Once I am at work, I love it, I believe nursing is one of the best professions in the world. I only had to work an 8 hour shift, so I was back home with my Tommy by 4:00 pm. I also worked on Friday, a full 12 hour shift, and it seemed to fly by! All day, I count down the minutes until I get to see my Thomas. Friday night, I loaded the van with all our camping stuff because we were leaving in the morning to go camping for my Aunt Kay's 60th Birthday. Not just because she is my aunt, but she honestly doesn't look or act 60! Saturday morning, we were all ready by 0630 and we headed out, but there was one problem, all the brake warning lights came on in the van. After my last brake drama, I was taking no chances, so we went home and threw everything in the truck and started over. My docs said I couldn't sleep on the ground in a tent, so we camped all day, but slept in a hotel at night. It was a very relaxing, hot weekend. We had a lot of fun with Thomas and all his cousins, Austin, Jackson, Cash, Charlee, and Noah. Paul even commented how nice it was to go to a family event where there was no drama. I must admit, it was really nice. Paul also loved my cousin Mike's camper. He has been reading all about them here lately! The only other camping experience Paul and I had was during November one year and it was COLD, no bueno. I am waiting for Karen to send me the pics from camping, or I would post one now. We rushed home on Sunday night and headed to Blayke's 4th Bday party, where Thomas swam and went down the big slide into the pool with his daddy. We were all pretty tuckered out and we all crashed Sunday night. Memorial Day arrived and we went to Aunt Celinda and Uncle Rick's house to swim some more and eat hamburgers. Monday was another low-key, relaxing day. Paul was mowing lawns all day, but he met us at their house for lunch. My sister, Karina, and Daniel all came too. There is nothing better than jumping into a cold pool on a hot day.
This is Thomas discovering what a "real" phone is at our hotel.
Jackson, Thomas, and Charlee eating a little jerky!
Tuesday, after Memorial Day, we woke-up early and took my van to the Chrysler dealership and this is where my nogoodverybadluckwithcars started-up again. This deserves it's own post, so I will save it for later.
One final thing, look at my new plates baby......
Sorry, I couldn't figure out how to turn this pic, but you get the idea!! If you are interested in getting Donate Life plates, I encourage you to do it, only $30. Thanks for keeping up with me and please forgive me for taking so long to blog again.
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